Ele’s PP poem

EleCushingEle got in touch to share the powerful poem she wrote about her experiences suffering with PP in 2016.

She says “This is a follow-up I wrote…from a healthier perspective as a new rural vicar’s wife one year on!”

Mental illness everywhere

Seems people wanna talk about it, make us aware.
See, the thing about it is it’s not at all rare.
Who you are or what you do, it doesn’t care.
It can happen to anyone, so just beware.
But to paint it all negatively wouldn’t be fair.
After PPP I feel pretty self-aware.
In talking therapies I’ve laid my soul bare.
“So you pick your fingers, do you also pull at your hair?”
With the help of drugs and CBT I’m almost there.
So some more of my story I’m now happy to share.

This time a year ago I was walking on air.
Head in the clouds, from behind numb eyes I would stare.
Fixed on the clock – a day without visitors I couldn’t bear.
Cut off from my baby and a whole world ‘out there’.
As the umpteenth nurse asks me to pull up a chair.
To take blood pressure, measurements, and check me down there.
Transferred from place to place, sporting no footwear.
From room to room I’d run, desperate to escape the living nightmare.
I clung to hospital chaplains, I begged for prayer.
Why did this happen to me? It all seemed so unfair.
How do I get back to who I was before this warfare
Tore through my being, leaving me in disrepair?

Thirteen months on, I still need tender loving care.
However I’m thankful through it all I have a Shepherd without compare.
Guiding me, refining me, chiselling me into the ‘pierre’
He made me to be – one of many small stones in a daily ‘guerre’.
Each day is a battle for which I must prepare.
But with my hand in His, I know the future need not scare.

EleCushing4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is Ele’s original poem written during her illness. She says “I think
it offers a good pre and post illness perspective”

Pillows pillows everywhere,
Under my boobs and under my tear!
Milk milk everywhere,
Showering my boy and sticking in my hair!
Poo poo everywhere,
In Pampers nappies but also mine down there!
Wee wee everywhere,
For the blue line and stray willy beware!
Mess mess everywhere,
Mummy and Daddy are tripping on the stair!
Pray pray everywhere,
Both with hearts full&when we’re having a mare!
Damp damp everywhere,
Night sweats, boobs gushing…poor nursing chair!
Love love everywhere,
Overflowing for Joshua for whom we care…
Peace peace everywhere,
Sleep, trust, faith, freedom – O Lord hear my prayer!