Personal Experiences

Here is a collection of personal stories, poetry, art & videos created by women, their partners or family and friends who have experienced PP.

If you have any pieces that you would like to share or like to contribute, please email us.

IMG_7265Latest: Jen’s Story
Jen describes her journey after suffering with postpartum psychosis in 2014 and the subsequent support she received through APP’s peer support service.

 

FionaFiona’s Story
Fiona shares her story after suffering with Postpartum psychosis in 2015.

EleEle’s Story
Ele shares her poetry after suffering with Postpartum psychosis in 2016.

Caroll2Carroll’s Story
Carroll shares her journey suffering with Postpartum Psychosis in 2003.

 

val-rapson-3Val’s Story
Val, a mother of two, describes how understanding her menopausal psychosis was the final piece in her mental health jigsaw. As featured on BBC Radio 4 Woman’s Hour.

sue2Sue’s Story
Sue shares her powerful poetry detailing her experiences suffering from Postpartum Psychosis.

floramervin_smlSecrets and Lies: David’s Story 
David’s mother, Flora, suffered from Postpartum Psychosis in 1933, and died in 1943, before the advent of the NHS.

KayleyKayley’s Story
Kayley describes the panic, restlessness, paranoia and anxiety she experienced when she became ill with PP out of the blue.

 Husband in a Storm
This book tells the story of my journey, from a husband’s point of view, as my wife travelled from a happy confident woman through postpartum psychosis and out the other side.

Rainbow stormIt was the best of times, it was the worst of times – by Daniel
Here Daniel gives a detailed account of his wife’s PP after the birth of his first child and her return to being the woman he met and fell in love with
Sanchita-Islam-photoSanchita‘s Story
Sanchita Islam is a successful artist and writer who has experienced two episodes of PP and campaigns for better mental health care for mothers worldwide.

Klimt Artwork

Charlotte‘s Story
Charlotte was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when she was 20. She became pregnant with her first child at 25 and tells of her experiences throughout pregnancy and PP recovery.

EveEve’s Story
Here Eve gives a detailed account of her early PP symptoms and the difficulties she faced getting treatment. She tells of her time in a mother and baby unit and onto recovery.
Purple Flowers Caroline’s Story
This story gives a detailed account of Caroline’s first experience of childbirth in 1982 and her journey through PP. Positively, she went on to have two extremely satisfactory home births.
Anna

Anna’s Story
Anna details the mania, panic and anxiety she experienced. She tells of the shock of becoming ill with PP out of the blue.

KathrynKathryn’s Story
Here Kathryn describes her thoughts, fears and delusions she experienced and the support she received from staff in a Mother & Baby Unit.
 FloatingNicola & John’s story
Nicola experienced PP after the birth of her daughter in 2004. The Mother & Baby Unit where she stayed asked her to write about her experiences. Nicola’s husband tells his story too.

Three short pieces
Depicting varied PP experiences written by Natasha, Sarah and Andrea.
PP & how I avoided it second time around
Bipolar Pendulum magazine article.
My PP Pits List
The things about PP which hindered my recovery and I find hardest to deal with.
 

 

Videos

A few words from women who have experienced Postpartum Psychosis

A few words from women who have experienced PP

'Take Heart' A mother & daughter talk about Postpartum Psychosis

'Take Heart' A mother & daughter talk about Postpartum Psychosis

'Then & Now' Motherhood & Postpartum Psychosis

'Then & Now' Motherhood & Postpartum Psychosis

My personal journey through Postpartum Psychosis

My personal journey through Postpartum Psychosis

A video to explain Postpartum Psychosis to my friends

A video to explain Postpartum Psychosis to my friends

Dr Angela Walsh discussing St Georges Mother & Baby Unit

Dr Angela Walsh discussing St Georges Mother & Baby Unit. Note: phone no. shown is no longer active

Andreas Personal Story

My Story

   

Poetry by APP Members

CIRCUS by Sarah Spring

Roll up, roll up, I am the ringmaster.
Marvel at my commands and ready wit,
Beast and man dumb before me, lapping my pronouncements
like poisoned condensed milk.
No question who is in charge.
I am taller than the tent pole,
Wider than the tent.
Roll up, roll up, and see the shocking show. See more…


Pacing BY SARAH SPRING

I am a pacer, perfecting my slipper-shod shuffle.
Restless pinions up and down the shiny tunnel connecting nowheres,
Urgent and pointless.
Rubber soles thinner as my soul thins.
Away from the elation and celestial light.
Hard tiles resist, Passive receptors of weary steps.
Tread, trod, trodden
Grimly printing my dwindling weight
Corporeal and grave
Gravid no longer.


Send No Flowers BY SARAH SPRING

Revelation.

He is a caricature of himself: self conscious and pedestrian, a deadpan voice, unremarkable features. His questions, slick and predictable, come rolling off his tongue like textbook reflexes. He is not listening to me. I crouch on the bed. My baby needs changing. I perform this operation with aggressive competence, resisting the urge to put the moulded cardboard “bedpan” into which I soak cotton wool balls with exaggerated efficiency on my head (it looks uncannily like a stetson). See more…


BEAUTIFUL BLESSING BY VICTORIA RIBBONS

I am so happy. Blooming they call it.
We worry about you -
mummy must still take her tablets.
To make her better, to keep us safe.
We stare at you on the screen,
Our bouncing bean. Our precious little girl.
I do not know why but sadness encompasses me
It drowns me, it steals my bloom. See more…


 Racing BY Strawberry55

Fireworks

 
Laughing away it felt so good
But now I know it was high mood
Confident as anything it felt so right
But fears as well, scared of the night
 

I hadn’t slept for eleven nights 
Delusional and seeing sights
Racing thoughts, fast, fast, fast
There were so many, they were so vast See more…


TIME FOR ANOTHER BY JENNY

 

Mum with toddlerIt must be time for another,
You can’t have just one son.
He’ll have no one to play with, be all alone,
And that would be no fun.

It must be time for another,
Sticking at one’s not fair. See more…


ILLNESS, RECOVERY & PARENTHOOD BY  Kathryn Grant

spinning-worldPsycho world
The world is spinning away from me.

 

I hear voices I recognise, see faces I know,
But the harder I look, the more intently I hear,
The further and further they go.
 
The world is spinning away from me.
I’ve lost my grip on everything. See more…


Natasha’s ‘Reunited’ Scrapbook Pages

When you were only five days old, mummy became very ill and had to go into hospital for three weeks with a severe form of postnatal illness. While she was getting better, daddy looked after you with the help of nanny and grandad who loved giving you cuddles. Mummy missed you very much and looked forward to seeing you again. You visited mummy in hospital a few times and you were always asleep in your pram looking beautiful and content. The sparkles on the first page represent the tears shed at that time. The second page shows the beautiful day we were all reunited.