Laura’s story: I told my doctor I was hallucinating, but they told me I had anxiety and sent me home

If postpartum psychosis (PP) was included as a formal diagnosis in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), resulting in more awareness and consistency in approaches to treatment, I believe I could have got the help I desperately needed much sooner.

There are so many different mental health conditions in the DSM, and it makes me wonder if the barrier to PP being included is because it’s not as common as some other illnesses. But just because it’s not as common doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. And given that it is one of the most serious perinatal mental health conditions, I’d argue that we need as much awareness and clarity as possible.

It was 2024 when I experienced PP – although at first I was told it was anxiety and lack of sleep. Not everyone who experiences PP has enough insight during the illness to be able to identify what is and isn’t a hallucination, but I was lucky in that I knew I was seeing and hearing things that weren’t there. But even with me directly informing the doctors and midwives of this, they assured me I wasn’t really hallucinating, I was just exhausted, experiencing anxiety and I needed to rest. I also had other doctors acknowledging the hallucinations but telling me that it was quite normal postpartum.

But hallucinations aren’t normal postpartum. They are, however, a core symptom of PP. I just don’t think they had the knowledge or awareness of it to diagnose me.

Hallucinations weren’t the only symptom I was displaying, of course. There were delusions, confusion and strange thinking, too. I remember waking up in hospital after giving birth and asking the staff whose baby this was. And when I went home, I accused my husband of stealing my baby. Again, I was told I was just tired.

During all of this, I was prescribed sertraline for my ‘anxiety’ and I became suicidal. After several weeks struggling at home and being reassured by doctors that everything was normal, my husband called me an ambulance because I thought I was having a heart attack. It was only then that I was finally diagnosed with PP. But if I had been diagnosed sooner, all those times when I talked of hallucinations and exhibited delusional thinking, I might never have reached that critical, suicidal state.

That’s why I believe PP should be included in the DSM, and it should be included in midwife training, too. The symptoms I was displaying and informing the health professionals of were all classic symptoms of psychosis. But if it’s not formally recognised, it’s more likely that these signs will be missed, which makes misdiagnosis and inappropriate treatment also more likely – which can be incredibly risky.

Nobody should reach the critical state that I did – or worse - before they are diagnosed. A formal diagnosis could raise awareness, improve training and, ultimately, save lives.