29 April 2022

It’s Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week – here’s how to get involved

2nd – 8th May marks Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week and APP is keen to get as many people involved as possible!

Awareness weeks like this are a brilliant opportunity to get more people talking about postpartum psychosis (and the signs and symptoms to look out for), and to ensure that anyone affected doesn’t feel alone and knows where they can turn to for help and support.

As such, we’ll be sharing personal stories, signposting people to support, information and advice and launching our new antenatal education campaign. We’re also going to be expanding our café groups in Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales – so keep your eyes peeled for more on that too!

In addition to Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, organised by the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership, there will be a focused World Maternal Mental Health Awareness Day (Wed 4th May) and Pregnancy and Postpartum Psychosis Awareness Day (Fri 6th May).

How to get involved

During the week, there will be focused topic days and activities that you can get involved with by sharing our social media posts and web links to help reach more people. We’d also love to hear your stories and thoughts too – so please do tag us in anything you’re writing about online.

The theme for the full week is The Power of Connection – so we’re keen to hear about your experiences of peer support and how friends and family have helped you.

Take part in free events

You can also take part in some FREE events that APP is proud to support including:

Thursday 5th May, 12pm: Understanding Psychosis

Join the National Centre for Mental Health in partnership with Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) and the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership to hear from researchers and the expert voices of those with lived experience of postpartum psychosis.

To book your free place, click here

Friday 6th May, 2pm BST: Author Panel

Join a conversation with authors with lived experience of postpartum psychosis. Hosted by Jessie Hunt, APP Marketing and Digital Communications Co-ordinator.

To book your free place, click here

Friday 6th May, 4pm BST: Pregnancy and Postpartum Psychosis Resources and Research Update

Learn about resources for women who are experiencing Pregnancy and Postpartum psychosis and their families. With guest speaker Dr Sally Wilson, APP Training and Research Co-ordinator.

To book your free place, click here

Friday 6th May, 7.45-8.30pm BST: Free online yoga session with Jo

Enjoy a mindful yoga session with Jo, a qualified yoga teacher and APP volunteer. You will need a yoga mat or non-slippy floor to practise on.

Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87537901587?pwd=UHRxNDFFNTA2Z3lHMTlqVXROamUrZz09

Meeting ID: 875 3790 1587
Passcode: 685471

...

Disclaimer from Jo: I believe that yoga is for everyone. However, when you’re practising via an online class, it is up to you to assess whether the class is suitable for you. If you’re injured, ill or have any long-term conditions you should always consult a doctor before you start practising yoga. Unfortunately, this class is not suitable if you are pregnant. It is up to you to gauge the safety of your practise and to never exceed your own limitations. I would ask you to practise slowly and in a considered way, and never rush into anything new - move mindfully and always listen to your body to take what you need from the practise. The practise might leave you feeling tired but you should never be in pain. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't, so please back out of the posture and take a break if you need to. By clicking on the link to join the Zoom class you hereby agree to irrevocably release and waive any claims that you have now, or hereafter may have, against Joanne Bushell, 'Yoga with Jo.'
yogawithjo.net

Follow @ActionOnPP

Make sure you follow APP’s social media accounts throughout the week to get involved:

Twitter: @ActionOnPP

Instagram: @ActionOnPP

Facebook: Action on Postpartum Psychosis

#ThePowerOfConnection

#MaternalMHMatters

#PPPAwarenessDay

It’s Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week – here’s how to get involved

2nd – 8th May marks Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week and APP is keen to get as many people involved as possible!

Awareness weeks like this are a brilliant opportunity to get more people talking about postpartum psychosis (and the signs and symptoms to look out for), and to ensure that anyone affected doesn’t feel alone and knows where they can turn to for help and support.

As such, we’ll be sharing personal stories, signposting people to support, information and advice and launching our new antenatal education campaign. We’re also going to be expanding our café groups in Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales – so keep your eyes peeled for more on that too!

Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week

In addition to Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, organised by the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership, there will be a focused World Maternal Mental Health Awareness Day (Wed 4th May) and Pregnancy and Postpartum Psychosis Awareness Day (Fri 6th May).

How to get involved

During the week, there will be focused topic days and activities that you can get involved with by sharing our social media posts and web links to help reach more people. We’d also love to hear your stories and thoughts too – so please do tag us in anything you’re writing about online.

The theme for the full week is The Power of Connection – so we’re keen to hear about your experiences of peer support and how friends and family have helped you.

Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week daily themes

Take part in free events

You can also take part in some FREE events that APP is proud to support including:

Understanding postpartum psychosis webinar

Thursday 5th May, 12pm: Understanding Psychosis

Join the National Centre for Mental Health in partnership with Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) and the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership to hear from researchers and the expert voices of those with lived experience of postpartum psychosis.

To book your free place, click here

Pregnancy and postpartum psychosis Awareness Day

Friday 6th May, 2pm BST: Author Panel

Join a conversation with authors with lived experience of postpartum psychosis. Hosted by Jessie Hunt, APP Marketing and Digital Communications Co-ordinator.

To book your free place, click here

Friday 6th May, 4pm BST: Pregnancy and Postpartum Psychosis Resources and Research Update

Learn about resources for women who are experiencing Pregnancy and Postpartum psychosis and their families. With guest speaker Dr Sally Wilson, APP Training and Research Co-ordinator.

To book your free place, click here

Friday 6th May, 7.45-8.30pm BST: Free online yoga session with Jo

Enjoy a mindful yoga session with Jo, a qualified yoga teacher and APP volunteer. You will need a yoga mat or non-slippy floor to practise on.

Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87537901587?pwd=UHRxNDFFNTA2Z3lHMTlqVXROamUrZz09

Meeting ID: 875 3790 1587
Passcode: 685471

...

Disclaimer from Jo: I believe that yoga is for everyone. However, when you’re practising via an online class, it is up to you to assess whether the class is suitable for you. If you’re injured, ill or have any long-term conditions you should always consult a doctor before you start practising yoga. Unfortunately, this class is not suitable if you are pregnant. It is up to you to gauge the safety of your practise and to never exceed your own limitations. I would ask you to practise slowly and in a considered way, and never rush into anything new - move mindfully and always listen to your body to take what you need from the practise. The practise might leave you feeling tired but you should never be in pain. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't, so please back out of the posture and take a break if you need to. By clicking on the link to join the Zoom class you hereby agree to irrevocably release and waive any claims that you have now, or hereafter may have, against Joanne Bushell, 'Yoga with Jo.'
yogawithjo.net

Follow @ActionOnPP

Make sure you follow APP’s social media accounts throughout the week to get involved:

Twitter: @ActionOnPP

Instagram: @ActionOnPP

Facebook: Action on Postpartum Psychosis

#ThePowerOfConnection

#MaternalMHMatters

#PPPAwarenessDay

28 April 2022

Anneka’s story: "The mother and baby unit was incredible, I owe my life to them".

In March 2021 I gave birth to a perfect little boy called Ralph and my family was complete.

I had a very easy pregnancy and loved every minute of it, I couldn’t wait to be a Mum.  After a short stay in hospital because Ralph had an infection, it was time to come home. Looking back I wasn’t right from the moment I got home but we just thought it was an extended set of the ‘baby blues’ - as did the midwife who came to see me.

Shortly after being home I was terrified someone was going to take my baby from me, that the house had to be tidy and if it wasn’t something really bad was going to happen.
I couldn’t remember anything and had to carry a notepad with me at all times to write down everything I had to do or had already done, from Ralph’s feeds to nappy changes.

The final straw for my husband and family to intervene was when I started to open presents and cards and couldn’t remember who anybody was.

My husband, Laurence, decided I needed medical attention ASAP but there was no chance I was going back into hospital and leaving Ralph. He told me I had a water infection and just needed to go in for some antibiotics so I agreed. Getting me into the hospital was very difficult as, by this time, I couldn’t remember anything about Covid and didn’t understand why I needed to wear a mask. I was taken straight to A&E where I was asked a series of questions which I couldn’t answer, including which day it was and who the prime minister was. By this point I had started to hallucinate and thought that every doctor was against me. The police were nearby with another patient and seeing them made me think that they were going to section me.

I ended up staying in hospital for a few days having all sorts of tests to rule out anything medically wrong with me before the psychiatric team would get involved. By this point my husband had found out about postpartum psychosis and that the best place for me would be a mother and baby unit.

By now I was very unwell and believed that I, and the midwife looking after me, had been arrested for committing a terrorist attack on the hospital. Every nurse or doctor that came to see me I thought was a member of my family or friends. Laurence was bringing in Ralph everyday so we could continue to bond, but by this point I thought Ralph had died so this became quite stressful. I believed my room was under surveillance and armed police were outside my room. When my Mum came to see me I thought our meeting was being broadcast on national TV. It all seemed so real.

The day before my 30th birthday I was transferred by ambulance to a mother and baby unit.

The first few days in the mother and baby unit I didn’t speak, I spent my 30th birthday mainly in my room believing I was still under arrest and my room was a prison cell. By this point the radio had started speaking to me and I couldn’t watch the TV because I believed that it was still covering the terrorist attack I’d committed. The staff were incredibly patient and understanding.

I was extremely lucky to get a place at a mother and baby unit close to home and my husband visited us every day. I remember so clearly asking him when we first arrived “How long will I be here?” to which he replied “it normally takes 6-8 weeks for people to recover.”
3 months, a relapse and being put under section later we finally returned home.

The mother and baby unit was incredible, I owe my life to them.

Without them who knows what would have happened. Every member of staff helped myself and Ralph bond through my recovery and supported my whole family. I also made some friends for life in the other mums that I speak to most days now. We were thrown together and have all been through such an experience together, I will be forever grateful for them.

I remain on medication for my diagnoses and am currently being supported by the wonderful Perinatal Mental Health team and the Early Intervention for Psychosis team who I see every other week.

Postpartum psychosis is scary and can affect anyone, including me who had no mental health problems in the past. My advice for anyone experiencing it now is, you will get better, take the support and treatment given to you. It’s helped me to put life into perspective and know what’s important. I’m not angry it happened to me, it’s part of who I am and now I want to give back to all the people who helped me recover.

 

 

 

27 April 2022

Jade’s story: "Awareness is so important".

I finished work for my maternity leave in February 2020, just before the lockdown. My pregnancy had been smooth but the last few weeks were awful. He was ten days late and I was just so ready for him to come out. I wasn’t sleeping, I had a 72 hour labour, and I had to switch from having a water birth to going into a labour unit because I got to around 4 or 5cm and nothing was happening. Eventually, I went into hospital and had an epidural and forceps delivery.

When my baby was born he was immediately taken away. During the delivery his heart rate had dropped so he had to be put on an incubator in the neonatal unit two floors up.

During this time I started to feel like there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t sleeping well and something just didn’t feel right so I told the nurses. They reassured me that it was probably all normal, I’d been through a traumatic birth, etc. But the sleep wouldn’t come, and I started thinking strange things and not wanting to be around my family (other than my husband) which wasn’t like me at all. I was just pacing around the hospital day and night feeling anxious.

I became really distressed and starting thinking that if I fell asleep I would die. That’s when things really hit me.

I began seeing and hearing things, with imagery of heaven and hell and other religious visions playing a big part in it. I also thought that my own body was trying to kill itself which was terrifying. Plus, I kept thinking that I could hear my baby crying which was really upsetting. But I couldn’t have heard him because he was so far away.

My husband was really worried about me and kept speaking to the nurses and doctors, but the problem was that I sometimes appeared well and lucid when they checked on me. I finally agreed for my mum to come in and see me and that’s when I told her about my fear of dying if I fell asleep.

The hospital then moved me into my own private room because I was in so much distress, which I think they thought might help the other mums around me as well. They allowed my mum to stay over night with me too and, meanwhile, my husband was still urging them to get me some more help, because he knew there was something seriously wrong.

The hospital, however, suggested that I had the baby blues and at one point even suggested I was ready to go home! So my husband did his own research and found out about postpartum psychosis. He recognised the symptoms in me straight away.

He’d read about Mother and Baby Units (MBUs) and reached out to the one in Chorley not too far away. I was so lucky that they sent somebody to see me because, just prior to this, the hospital were considering sending me to a general psychiatric ward, which would have meant being separated from my baby.

I was transferred to Chorley MBU eight days after giving birth and I am so grateful that I got a bed there.

In those first few days I was really anxious. I didn’t know what was happening to me and I’d been googling things like schizophrenia, personality disorders and bipolar. I also remember googling ‘will I die if I have a mental breakdown.’ It wasn’t until I was settled in the MBU that I first read about postpartum psychosis in one of the leaflets they gave me, which also talked about how treatable it was. It was such a relief to know what it was that was happening to me, and to know that I could recover from it. Plus, I knew at that point that I was absolutely in the best place.

I was given anti-psychotic medication and the hallucinations stopped and I started sleeping again. But, after a while, I started to feel really unhappy and detached from my baby. I felt kind of dissociated from him and from being a mother. I wasn’t actively suicidal, but I felt like I didn’t want to live. That’s when the psychiatrist started discussing postnatal depression with me, and I was prescribed with additional medication.

Prior to this I hadn’t experienced any mental health problems at all. In fact, neither had my husband, so we were both really unprepared for it.

I kept telling the MBU nurses that I might be the only one who doesn’t recover from it all, because I really couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, but they kept reassuring me. They told me to distract myself, to focus on my baby, and told me that it does take time to heal.

I also met Jocelyn, APP’s peer support worker, on the ward, as well as other mums who had experienced PP and recovered and that really helped me. To know that there are other mums out there who have gone through these same experiences really makes a difference.

Finally, by the back end of April, I started showing signs of getting better and they started talking to me about going home - just for a couple of hours at first. By this point I was very detached from the outside world so it was really daunting but I did go home for a little bit which felt strange.

I was finally discharged fully on the 21st May 2020. I wasn’t fully recovered, but I’d say there was around an 80% improvement by that point. I was still on meds, still getting support visits to the house however, even though the country was in lockdown at the time, I tried to get back to some sort of normality.

It took a while to get back to feeling like me again and it really affected my marriage. My husband had struggled with the trauma of it all as well. However, eventually, by November 2021 I came off all the medication and started to feel like myself again, which strengthened our bond as a family.

Looking back, I think for us, not having any idea what was happening was the most frightening thing. We didn’t know about PP, mental health was barely covered in the antenatal classes, other than a brief mention of depression, and the midwives didn’t seem to know too much about what was happening to me either. It wasn’t until I got to the MBU and met with specialist workers and peer supporters that things started to look up. I feel so grateful to have got a place at Chorley – I know not everyone is so lucky.

It’s now 2022 and I’m in a really good place. I’ve developed such a great bond with my boy, and he’s such a happy little boy too. So I get that excitement, that joy, that feeling of love now, as a mother, which is so incredible. I’m also back at work, taking care of myself, going to the gym and, importantly, my marriage is stronger than ever.

Now I can reflect on my experience I really want to help others by sharing my story. Awareness is so important, I think it would have helped us enormously if we had been armed with more knowledge from the start. Just being able to spot the signs, to know what help is out there and to know that you can recover would have relieved so much of the distress that I felt.

21 April 2022

Susan's poem: Into the Deep.

 

Susan experienced postpartum psychosis in 2006. Here she shares her poem, 16 years on.

Into the Deep

From a rush with euphoria
Feeling on top of the world
To the sensation of exhaustion
Fear of falling to the ground.

The shower in the morning
Helped to make me aware
To feed, bath and love my baby
With much loving care.

The following weeks I carried on
Getting dressed everyday
It makes you feel better
Or so they say

I continued to do everything
As I thought I should
Hanging out the washing
Feeling reenergised
Thinking I was doing good.

No groups to join,
few visits from friends
Only when my midwife visited
She noticed I was drained.

I was starting to spiral
in to the deep.
I was running on empty
Suddenly unable to sleep.

I thought I could accomplish
Anything when I became Mum,
Within a couple of months
I began to feel numb.

Forget previous feelings,
Natural instincts I had,
Could not remember anything
Feeling I was going mad.

This itself was frightening
Not knowing who I was anymore
If I would get back to where I was
And who I was before.

Lack of sleep and eats
Plummeted me into despair
Catatonic some days
Not knowing if I was there

Being told I was getting better
Feeling like shouting out I am getting worse
But could not get the words out
I am here, I am not right, am I cursed?

Lack of understanding from all of those around
Caused more distress and isolation
As I felt this was my life
And I was not to be found

Fearing institutions and staff
throwing away the key
Thinking everyone else
would be better off without me.

Soon I did discover
That help was there for me.
Experts in their fields providing
Care for baby and thee.

As treatment started to work
And I started recovery,
Looking after myself first,
Allows me to look after my family.

Look after yourself, be good and kind.
Having an insight helps to maintain a healthy mind.

12 April 2022

An Evening With The Good Enough Mums Club

The Good Enough Mums Club, a concert tour of songs from the musical of the same name, is going to be taking to the stage during April and May to delight audiences once again. The original musical, which includes a story of postpartum psychosis, has been produced, written, directed and performed by mums with the aim of ‘celebrating all the things, good and bad, that unite us as mums’.

In the safety of a local community hall, five mothers regularly meet with their young children, to share, compare, commiserate and comfort one another through the tough first years of motherhood.

The Good Enough Mums Club features songs such as “Only My Nose Is The Same”, “The Price To Be Paid” and “WTF’s Up With Kid’s TV?”. Toddle through the highs, lows and sleep deprivation of motherhood. From peeing on sticks to drooping tits, they share the love and dispel the myths with enough wipes on hand to mop the tears and clean away the snotty laughter.

When the Council threatens to close their local playgroup, five women thrown together by motherhood, overcome their isolation, loneliness, judgment and perfectionism to discover that they’re stronger as a group than as individuals, and that sometimes, being good enough is best.

Writer Emily Beecher said, “The Good Enough Mums Club grewout of my own darkest days of motherhood fighting postnatal depression and postnatal psychosis. When I shared my story, other women shared their own experiences with me, and it was so brilliant to realise all these things I thought I had been alone in were actually things that connected us.”

An Evening With The Good Enough Mums Club is a concert tour ahead of the full musical tour in 2023. You can catch it live at:

The Lowry, Salford - 22nd April (BOOK HERE)

Pleasance Theatre, London - 30th April (BOOK HERE)

MAST Mayflower Studios, Southampton - 6th May (BOOK HERE)

The Good Enough Mums Club podcast is entering its second season during the tour. You can listen to season one here or on all major podcast platforms.

22 February 2022

Nia’s story: "I had to travel many miles from home to access an MBU".

Living with bipolar meant that we had lots to consider when we were planning a family. We had to get the perinatal mental healthcare team involved from the very start to make sure we had a plan if anything were to go wrong. I knew that, because of my bipolar diagnosis, there was a chance that giving birth could trigger my symptoms, so there was talk of me being admitted to a Mother and Baby Unit (MBU) should I need that extra support.

I didn’t really know anything about MBUs at that point, and I was feeling really well so I felt confident that all would be OK. However, towards the end of my pregnancy more problems arose – I had preeclampsia, high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. It meant that I was under additional pressure, but my mental health still seemed to be on an even keel.

However, I was then told I had to have an elective caesarean and, because I’m on medication for my bipolar, I had to come off it 24 hours before the surgery. This was to allow the medicine to be removed from my body before giving birth.

I had the caesarean as planned on the 17th May 2019. Unfortunately, they had problems getting the epidural into my back so I had to be sedated. When I came round, they initially gave my baby to me but then immediately took him away again because he had a temperature and wasn’t feeding. He was taken into special care.

In the personalised care plan that the perinatal mental health team had put together at the start of the pregnancy, it stated that I needed to have my own, quiet room as lack of sleep can be a big trigger for bipolar symptoms. Unfortunately, somebody else needed the room so I was moved to a ward with crying babies. At this point, my baby boy was still in another part of the hospital.

Eventually, we were given a special care room together because, in addition to my bipolar risks, my little boy had to be tube fed. But by this point I was already becoming unwell. My mind was racing and I wasn’t sleeping.

The next thing I remember is waking up in the MBU in Manchester – many miles from our family home in North Wales.

Prior to being moved to the MBU, I was in a state of psychosis and my memories of this time are a complete blur. I think my mind has just shut out memories of the trauma, but it was a different matter for my husband, who was in the throes of it all, desperately trying to get me the right help. It was really difficult for him because the midwife was off, as was the care coordinator and the psychiatrist! I was initially transferred to a PICU (Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit) in North Wales but then I was moved to the MBU in Manchester as there was nothing closer to home.

 

I was grateful to have access to an MBU, as it meant that I was able to stay with my baby. But the fact that we had to travel two hours from home made life really difficult. Each day, my husband was travelling for four hours between the hospital and our home, and doing a full time job in between all the travel. The stress he was under was immense.

Regardless, Tommy continued to visit every day and that’s something I am so grateful for because, when you’re in hospital so far from home, it can feel really isolating and lonely. Two hours is a long time when you’re in mental health crisis. I did make some friends in the MBU, but when you’re so far from home it makes everything feel ten times harder.

I had to have ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy) whilst I was at the MBU, but this was a treatment that had worked for me in the past and, combined with the medication, I started to slowly recover.

Eventually, I was allowed overnight stays at home, then visits for a few days at a time and then, by around the end of July, I was finally discharged. Getting home was such a good feeling, and I really started to feel well again.

However, unless something changes, I don’t think we’d consider another baby as the experience was far too stressful and traumatic for the family.

There’s a national shortage of MBUs overall but, where I live in North Wales, we literally don’t have one at all. I remember the doctor telling me that, if we decided to have another baby, I would probably need to give birth in England so that I had quick access to specialist care if I became mentally unwell again. Because I’m Welsh, I really wouldn’t want to feel as thought I was forced to have my baby in England.

I’m also not confident that we’d be able to get in to the Manchester MBU again. There is such a shortage of MBU beds, so, if we couldn’t get in, it could mean travelling even further away – and the strain on Tommy, and myself and the baby, would be unbearable.

I know how lucky we are to have our baby boy but we’d love for him to be able to have a baby brother or sister. For women like me living in North Wales who are at risk of serious postnatal mental illness, there needs to be specialist care closer to home. I know I definitely communicate better in Welsh, especially when I am unwell, so having support in the Welsh language is also really important.

This is why I’m campaigning for an MBU for North Wales – so other new mums and their families can access support in their first language and to stop so many having to travel so far from home to get the essential care they need.

 

16 February 2022

Zebunisa’s story: "As a psychology graduate I had lots of technical knowledge about mental health – but I still couldn’t see how bad my illness really was".

Having a baby is a significant, wonderful and stressful time of life. But when giving birth coincides with family weddings and various other things that life throws at you, that stress can be amplified tenfold. In the days after I gave birth, I remember feeling vulnerable, exhausted and highly emotional.

So far so normal.

However, by day five things for me and my family were definitely not normal.

I became quite elated but I was also really confused and, I’m told, acting in quite a bizarre way. Running naked around the room was certainly not normal for me, and neither was telling anyone and everyone my personal problems. I was so sleep deprived and was struggling with breastfeeding big time. I sought out breastfeeding support on several occasions and after seeing the breastfeeding support team and speaking with them as if they were my counsellors, they suggested I see the crisis team. They could tell something simply wasn’t right.

However, for some time it was difficult for the people around me to see just how unwell I was. Because I have a Masters in Forensic Psychology, I was regularly articulating all this knowledge and all these psychological terms and, seemingly, demonstrating insight into what was happening to me.

But in reality, I wasn’t just a bit switched on and alert, I was far too switched on. In fact, you could say I was behaving like a mad scientist!

By this point I had racing thoughts and I was hearing and seeing things that weren’t there. I was also talking at a hundred miles an hour, sending hundreds of messages to people and constantly writing and researching. These behaviours were symptoms that I recognised from my study, but, unfortunately, even though I recognised what was happening it didn’t instil in me just how unwell I was.

Conversely, I was elated. I felt as though I was solving some kind of puzzle and having my eyes opened to the experiences that others I had worked with had gone through.

From that point on things became blurry. My partner called the crisis team and I know that they assessed me over a period of five days and told me that I needed to go to a Mother and Baby Unit (MBU), but I refused to go.

Eid was fast approaching and I was determined to stay at home and host the family for the big day as we had planned. I kept telling everyone that I knew my rights, that I had insight and I was informed enough to make decisions but, even though I had all the technical knowledge, my illness stopped me from seeing just how poorly I had become.

Eventually, they managed to get me admitted to an MBU in Nottingham, so it wasn’t too far from home. When I arrived there I was both confused and elated – I’d worked in these kinds of environments and I became excitable. At one point I tried to deliver a PowerPoint presentation to the doctors (this did not happen but I tried!). I was constantly ‘researching’ but I wasn’t using books or Google – I was using my mind and my racing thoughts and writing everything down, every single day. Imagine writing all day long, that was me!

My moods were all over the place and it was as though everything about my personality was 10x what it normally was. I’m a clean person, but I became obsessed by cleanliness, at one point spending three hours straight in the shower. I also became really angry with my partner when he tried to decorate the room for Eid and I ripped everything back down again. I was constantly having tantrums but my partner kept visiting, he kept supporting me and just being there for me.

I didn’t trust anybody, so when they tried to give me medicine it was a real challenge. I would ask for all the relevant paperwork, requesting printouts and saying I needed to be kept fully informed.

After a while, I remember finding a leaflet in the MBU about postpartum psychosis and when I read up on it I began to recognise that it was what was happening to me. I had been told by health professionals that this was probably my diagnosis but until that point I refused to believe them.

Eventually I started trusting their care and taking the meds, which brought me back to my usual self.

Although I don’t remember all of this, the staff and family have since filled me in on some of the things that happened.

After about three months in the MBU, I left the MBU and received care at home from the perinatal mental health team and my family supporting me along the way. I started to think I was much better. However, after the psychotic symptoms died down, I was hit with depression and anxiety. All of these different mental health problems were affecting me. Before giving birth, I hadn’t experienced any mental health problems at all...

Since my PP episode I have had a relapse and since then been diagnosed with Bipolar. This does not affect me and I feel now more than ever more capable and confident to help others going through mental illness.

I’ve personally found a lot of support and strength through APP’s network and I want to give something back and to let others know that you can recover from a mental illness. You may not feel like you will whilst you are experiencing it but YOU WILL and YOU DO get better.

 

13 February 2022

APP’s Danielle Thomas shares her story with Stacey Dooley

Danielle Thomas, APP’s Wales Assistant Co-ordinator, shared her PP story with BBC investigative journalist Stacey Dooley for her latest book, Are You Really OK? published by BBC Books.

Published in February 2022, the book is an exploration of the mental health crisis in Britain and its particular impact on young people. Danielle, who is also a midwife, shared her experiences of postpartum psychosis with Stacey over a zoom call, talking about her traumatic birth and the PP symptoms she experienced after returning home with her baby.

Danielle’s story forms part of a wider collection of first person stories about mental health, as well as comments from medical experts, counsellors, campaigners and health practitioners who give detailed insights into the conditions and environmental factors that play a part in affecting mental health - including poverty, addiction, identity, pressures of social media and the impact of Covid- 19.

Are You Really OK? also includes positive stories of recovery that can inspire and offer hope to those going through mental health problems and those around them. Recovery is possible is a very strong message; just hearing it may give that bit of hope needed to keep going through the tough times. It doesn’t immediately free someone from the illness, of course, but it might help them see that with the right help they can get through a crisis, manage their mental health and carry on living as normally as possible. This book is about opening up the conversation around mental health, sharing experiences and offering hope and proof that it is possible for things to get better.

Stacey Dooley is one of the UK's most loved documentary presenters. Across her 15 year career, Stacey’s series include Stacey Dooley Investigates, Women in Dangerous Places and Stacey Dooley Sleeps over, to name a few. She has examined a variety of topics from sex trafficking and under-age sex slavery, to domestic violence. In 2018, Stacey was awarded an MBE for her outstanding contribution to broadcasting. Her debut book, On The Frontline With The Women Who Fight Back was a double Sunday Times Bestseller in both hardback and paperback.

To order a copy of the book, click here.

6 February 2022

Theatre: ‘after birth’ is returning to the stage for a UK tour

 

‘after birth’ is a dark comedy deeply rooted in the testimonials of women who have experienced postpartum psychosis. Read on for dates and a review.

"A powerhouse story told with clarity, wit and integrity"
Daily Information

"At the centre of my play is Ann – razor-witted and indomitable – her character is rooted in the funny, resilient women who fearlessly shared their recovery stories with me"
Zena Forster

Dates and tickets

LONDON, Omnibus Theatre 22 - 26 February 2022. Book tickets. 
NORWICH, The Garage - 11 March 2022. Book tickets.
GRAVESEND, The Woodville - 16 March 2022. Book tickets. 
WOLVERHAMPTON, Arena Theatre - 18 March 2022. Book tickets. 
LYME REGIS, Marine Theatre - 24 March 2022. Book tickets.

Please note, the performances on the 15th March 2022 and 23rd March 2022 are closed performances for invited guests.

Watch the trailer

‘after birth’ review

In June 2021, two members of the APP team, Ellie and Jessie, and one of APP’s volunteers, went to see ‘after birth’ at the North Wall theatre, Oxford. ‘After birth’ is set in a Mother and Baby Unit: the main character, Ann, has a bipolar diagnosis and is experiencing postpartum psychosis.

Ellie writes: "‘After birth’ has been written by Zena Forster who worked with APP as part of her research, speaking to several members of APP staff and volunteers with lived experience. The play follows Ann in her experience of postpartum psychosis, and the action we witness on stage is through her eyes, starting in the middle of her paranoid and scary psychotic episode. It depicts her slow journey to recovery, her growing trust of the professionals helping her, her relationships with her mother and partner, and the grief and trauma she experiences. The play also shows her relationship with another patient in the unit, showing the importance of the connection between the two women with lived experience.

As we all know, the impact of experiencing postpartum psychosis is wide reaching and complex and affects so many parts of a person’s life – their self-esteem and well-being, identity, creativity, relationships, relationship with their baby and feelings about becoming a mother. Zena managed to weave all of this complexity, and more, into the play, at the same time creating a believable, likeable, and rounded character at its heart, who we were rooting and feeling for. The fact the audience was with Ann throughout her whole experience of PP and seeing everything through her eyes, meant that the play was a powerful tool for helping the audience to really understand, connect and empathise with the experience of postpartum psychosis, and to truly feel and understand what women go through.

‘after birth’ will tour in 2022, and we highly recommend that you take the opportunity to go and see it when it does. We found it a powerful, accurate and stigma-busting portrayal of PP.”

'after birth' grew out of a collaboration between playwright Zena Forster and researchers at the National Perinatal Epidemiology Unit  (NPEU), Oxford University.

Find out more and book tickets here: https://linktr.ee/afterbirth2022

Get in touch with APP

If you would like to talk to the APP team about ‘after birth’, please email app@www.app-network.org