Tag Archives: postpartum psychosis

7 September 2024

APP's 2025 Great North Run Team

It's the one of the biggest and most well know half marathons in the world - the Great North Run - and we're so excited to have FIVE runners taking part for APP this year:

Tim in his purple APP top at his local York Parkrun

Tim

Tim is running for APP because of the work we do campaigning for more Mother & Baby Units (MBU).

Tim's family have first hand experience of not being able to access a local MBU. When his wife was diagnosed with PP after the birth of their second child, there was no bed available at their nearest MBU, meaning she had to be treated some way from their family home.
Tim says 'Nine years on and with a healthy family, we would like to give something back to enable help to be made available for other families in a similar situation.

Add your support for Tim here.

Mikyla

Mikyla is taking on her first half marathon and we couldn't be more grateful that she has chosen to do this for APP.

She says: 'I am dedicating my first ever half-marathon to new mums and APP as my charity. I want to show solidarity to all new mums and their families, and to help bring support to the new mums who most need it.'

Support Mikyla here.

Rob

Rob has chosen to take on the Great North Run for APP this year as 'it is a cause close to my heart and I wanted to support the great work that APP does.'
Thank you Rob and good luck!

Add your support for Rob here.

Philippa & Owen

Running together and inspired to do so to support brother in law Rob and his family, Philippa and Owen have been training hard and are excited to take on the Great North Run for the first time!

Add your support for Philippa and Owen here.

A huge thank you to all of our runners, and to everyone who has supported them with their training, and through donations.

Look out for them in their purple APP tops on the TV coverage and do give them an extra cheer if you're going to be there in person this weekend.

13 August 2024

Leanne’s story: Reading other people’s recovery stories has allowed me to process what happened to me

I have always been a worrier, but I felt pregnancy was a particularly long and very anxious time in my life. I only really began to relax towards the end and then suddenly here she was!

She was actually ten days overdue when we toddled to hospital for induction in May 2022. Labour was long, and it ended in a forceps delivery which was difficult.

Post delivery, though, I began perking up. I was in theatre, and, because we love Grey's Anatomy, it was kind of exciting to be there. Plus, I finally got some pain relief. But looking back, it's hard to determine if those feelings were actually the start of my symptoms of postpartum psychosis (PP).

Immediately after the birth, my husband and I burst into tears of happiness. I was on cloud nine, and for a fair stretch of time I rarely came back down. Just over a week after giving birth, I was diagnosed with PP and our world stopped turning.

We had been discharged two days after the birth and were at home for six days. Whilst at home I was struggling to breastfeed and found being a new mum challenging. However, I was in awe of our newborn and could not process the sheer amount of joy and stimulation she had brought to our lives. The first memories of her meeting friends and family were magical and I didn't want to miss a thing. So I didn't. Within the first six days I literally only slept a handful of hours which really took its toll. It's difficult to know if the lack of sleep triggered PP or if the lack of sleep was a symptom of PP. I'm sure this must be a common conundrum amongst other survivors.

It started off gradually but things became rapidly worse.

My behaviour became really out of character, and my husband described me as a different person. I had the energy of a Duracell bunny, talking erratically and making less and less sense as things progressed. My moods were very up and down but, because we were first time parents and had been told about baby blues and hormones, it took us a week to call for help as we thought it must be normal. But I progressively got worse and fluctuated between euphoric highs and tearful lows. I began gathering items for a tool kit in a strange manner which concerned everyone.

When we eventually called NHS 24 they recommended that I should go straight to A&E. From there, I was admitted to the Mother & Baby Unit (MBU) where I stayed with my daughter for the next five weeks, at first voluntarily and then under section.

After entering hospital I declined even further and it was clear that I was extremely unwell. Despite mainly being on a high and euphoric, I was also confused and angry at the situation and responded slowly to medication, leading to the decision to receive Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT), which was a turning point in my recovery. I began to improve almost immediately - within just two sessions. The effects allowed me to slow down and rest and in turn begin to process things at a more suitable speed.

After both myself and my daughter tested positive for Covid the decision was taken that we would best recover at home. We were close to beginning the transition to home visits and I received great support from the MBU and the Acute Care and Support Team. At the time I was desperate to get home and begin our life as a family of three, however this was just the beginning in accepting what had happened.

I have since struggled a lot with the stigma of having mental health issues which is why I became so interested in raising awareness around the topic and sharing my story. When I was ill I became obsessed with music and the playlist I had prepared for labour. Sadly, we were never able to use it during the birth but, because I have always loved music, I have since found it therapeutic to listen to during my recovery. I have also enjoyed reading memoirs written by survivors as well as other books focusing on perinatal mental health. Reading different recovery stories has been the most helpful thing to process what happened to me in peace and feel like my story and feelings are valid. Despite the challenging symptoms and experiences that I would not wish on anyone, reading that I was not alone and that others had experienced similar things was the biggest help in terms of finding acceptance.

On the ward I regularly put my checkered Vans on (I thought of them as my ‘getaway shoes’) and tried to make a break for it, but in the time that has passed since leaving hospital there have been many days when I would be grateful to go back to the MBU for a break from my head. I wish it was known that if you require admission and some help at this vulnerable time, that its not something to fear - the care and support on an MBU is incredible, in my experience. I will be eternally grateful to the nurses and psychiatric team who looked after my tiny bundle and me - and also supported my husband and immediate family through a critical period. Having no diagnosed history of mental health issues in the past, my experience came as a big shock for us all as we managed new expectations and grieved the newborn period we had hoped for.

I had no idea such vital and important work was going on every day in a hospital, a few minutes away.

Upon my discharge from the MBU, I received leaflets from the charity Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP). I have since benefited from their online forum, informative website, one to one support, cafe zoom groups and the continual updates on fundraising and positive recovery stories. Speaking to others who have also experienced PP has been really helpful to me, finding a community and others who can relate to my story makes me feel less alone.

We are now thrilled to be raising money for this incredible charity by walking in the Edinburgh Kiltwalk on Sunday 15th September. The walk is a unique way to raise funds for a charity you care about.

And hopefully, our now two-year-old little red head will meet us at the finish line.

To find out more about Leanne’s Kiltwalk fundraiser and to donate, click here.

12 August 2024

Matt's on a Mission for APP!

This year, Matt, a dad of two from Fleetwood in Lancashire, has been on a mission to get fit at the same time as raising funds and awareness for APP.

He set himself the challenge of taking on a half marathon AND a triathlon before the end of September, and has been building up to these with lots of running, swimming and cycling throughout the year. Here Matt explains what he's doing and why he decided to take on this epic challenge:

'At the beginning of the year, I started a health and fitness journey to help myself and my wellbeing. I am now really enjoying this with many challenges already complete and more to come:

4 x 10k runs complete
A half marathon coming up on 25th August (my first ever)
A sprint triathlon made up of 400m swim, 20km bike and a 5K run (my first ever) on 22nd September
I am now toying with the idea of a marathon in 2025!!!

I thought that this would also be an ideal opportunity to help raise some funds and awareness for a charity. After doing some research it was a no brainer! APP was the charity I chose with it being a charity that me and my family can relate to having being personally affected by this illness.

Watching my then partner, now wife, go through postpartum psychosis was really tough. What was supposed to be a happy and exciting time in our lives adding a second child to our already perfect family, turned out a very difficult and testing period for my wife (especially) and I.

When this illness hit, I was not aware what it was, or how this was caused and we had to contact our local midwife team, who then explained in what my wife was experiencing and how it can be helped/treated. We were then referred to our local mental health crisis team who started to diagnose and treat my wife.

This was a long process for us all but the support for my wife at this time was vital. Taking extended time periods off work and changing our short-term living arrangements amongst other changes really helped with the recovery.

It also really helped that we have a very strong and supportive family network around us.

Any funds and awareness I can raise is a massive help – even if I tell just one person about this illness, I feel like this could make a big difference.

I have had a dedicated race top made where local businesses got involved, buying a ‘sponsor’ space for a fee that went straight to my donations page. I am trying everything to get the donations in and counting on the generosity of my community to help.'

You can follow Matt's journey via his instagram page @mattymeck_fitnessjourney, and you can add your support for his mission here.

Matt - you are an inspiration! We can't wait to hear how your first ever half marathon and triathlon go - thank you so much for sharing your journey with us and for your support for APP.

1 August 2024

Sarah's ToughMudder for APP

APP supporter Sarah Pujol is taking on the gruelling Tough Mudder South West obstacle course to help raise funds for APP and awareness of postpartum psychosis (PP).

Sarah has chosen to take on this challenge to mark three years to the day that she became unwell with PP after the birth of her daughter.

She wants to celebrate how far she's come and use her recovery journey to inspire and make a difference.

Sarah says: 'Tough Mudder, with its gruelling physical and mental challenges, serves as a symbolic representation of my belief that today, there's nothing I cannot overcome. The obstacles on the course reflect the hurdles life throws at us, and as I navigate mud pits and conquer towering walls, I'll be proving to myself and others that, after facing the darkest moments of my life, resilience and inner strength can conquer all.'

She's chosen to support APP through this event because 'APP introduced me to a community of genuine and caring people who helped me navigate the loneliness and complexities of this illness, and played a huge part in my recovery.'

Sarah is now a volunteer peer supporter for APP herself, supporting women and families who have also been affected by PP.

She will be providing regular updates on her training and her progress on the day of her challenge via her instagram page, plus you can read more and add your support for this challenge here.

Thank you Sarah and good luck!

30 July 2024

Kayleigh’s story: I was so unwell I was completely catatonic and unresponsive. But now I feel like we have the perfect family

When I suffered with postpartum psychosis after having my first daughter Daisy in 2014, me and my family had never heard of this illness. I had never suffered from any mental illness in the past but I was lucky that my family and my midwife knew that something wasn't quite right and I got the help I needed very quickly.

My labour with Daisy was long, painful and complicated which ended in me having an emergency c section. When she finally arrived I was so grateful she was here safe and healthy. I was totally in love with her, it felt like I was in a little bubble. The baby who we had waited so long for was here and life was perfect.

A picture of the author, Kayleigh, holding her newborn baby daughter, Daisy who is wearing a white and red sleep suit and red and black hat. — Kayleigh holding her newborn daughter Daisy

When it was time for us to leave the hospital I suddenly felt a huge wave of fear.

This tiny little baby was my responsibility to keep safe. What if I couldn't do it? What if I forgot something? How could I keep her safe from everything? I remember getting her ready to leave the hospital panicking if I had enough layers of clothes on her, would she be warm enough or would she be too hot, had I put her in the car seat right, was her head supported enough....

When we got home things started to get worse. I couldn't sleep at night thinking about all the things I needed to do and worrying I wouldn't have time to do it. I would have bursts of energy feeling like I was able to do everything at once then I would have times when I couldn't even feed Daisy feeling like I would do it wrong. I started making lists in case I forgot to do things like feed her and change her. I was frightened to bath her in case I did it wrong.

I became very suspicious of my midwife and health visitor thinking that they were coming to take my baby away from me and that they had been planning this my whole pregnancy thinking I was a bad mam. When watching telly I thought I was getting messages warning me that bad things were going to happen, that our family dog would attack the baby.

On advice from my midwife I was taken back to the maternity ward where things got frighteningly worse. I suddenly lost sight of reality and thought I had died during childbirth and that I was going to hell for something bad I had done. I remember screaming out to my husband to help me as I didn't know what to do. I was assessed by the mental health crisis team and the decision was made to section me as by this time I wasn't communicating. I had gone into a catatonic state and I couldn't move my body. I remember being put into a wheelchair and I didn't know where I was going. I felt like I was in a dream and that I needed to fall or jump to wake myself up.

A bed became available for me and Daisy at St George's Mother and Baby Unit in Morpeth so I was transferred there by ambulance. I could see my family around me but they didn't seem like the people I knew and loved - they felt like intruders or actors. I was very suspicious of them thinking they were going to hurt me.

A photo of the author, Kayleigh, holding her baby girl and brushing her hair while sitting on a bed in the Mother and Baby Unit with a pink blanket — Kayleigh and daughter Daisy in the MBU

When I arrived at the Mother and Baby Unit I thought I was being taken to hell and that I would be locked in a dark room forever and that horrible and unimaginable things were going to happen to me. I was still catatonic so in my mind I was dead and that's why I couldn't move or speak. I was given medication to help me get out of the psychosis but I was still unresponsive so I was then taken to another hospital for a brain scan to see if there was anything else going on. I remember being in the ambulance but I felt like it was all fake like they were trying to trick me into thinking it was all real. At this point I still wasn't aware of what was happening to me and I still hadn't spoken for hours. I remember being put into the machine for the brain scan and thinking I was going to be abducted by aliens. I jumped up and this was the first time I had spoken or moved in hours. The catatonia was over but my thoughts were still spiralling out of control.

I was taken back to the Mother and Baby Unit and as I walked down the corridor I could see all my family waiting for me. I could see white doors at the end of the corridor, which were actually fire exit doors, but in my mind they were the doors to heaven and I was walking there to say my goodbyes to my family.

I don’t remember much after that but the medication must have been taking effect as it helped me to sleep for the first time in days. When I finally woke, I realised I wasn't actually dead and everyone in my family was ok, my baby was ok. I felt like I had won the lottery. The feeling was unreal and I explained to my family what I had felt and thought. It was as if all the craziness had lifted from my mind and I was me again. I was so happy to be alive.

Unfortunately, that feeling didn't last long and I was hit with a wave of crippling depression which consumed my mind. I felt like I had lost my bond with Daisy and I didn't really want to see any of my family apart from my husband Dave.

I thought I would never get better and was going to spend the rest of my life in hospital.

As the days and weeks passed, I was allowed to try an overnight home visit, thinking back at the time I don't feel I was ready for this. The Mother and Baby Unit had now become my safe place. I knew I could look after Daisy there as I had the help of the nurses. But at home it was all on me and I didn't think I could do it. I was right, as soon as I got home the rooms seemed smaller, the fear, the anxiety, the depression it all came flooding back. Then I hit rock bottom, I felt like I didn't want to be here anymore, I wanted to just curl up in a ball on the floor and die. I needed a way out of this. I couldn't see myself getting any better. I couldn't live like this. I thought Dave, Daisy and my family would all be better off without me. I thought of ways to end my life. This was the lowest I had ever felt.

I had relapsed and couldn't make it through the night at home. I broke down and the only option my family had was to take me back to the Mother and Baby Unit.

Over the next few weeks I was helped by the nursing staff and psychologists to put things in place so that I could return home and I did, this time only for a few hours but it was lovely, totally different from my last home visit. I felt like I was where I should be at home with my beautiful little family.

Home visits became more regular and I was now spending a week at home. Everything was starting to click into place and it felt amazing. I finally believed I could be the mam that I had always wanted to be. I was discharged from the Mother and Baby Unit after six weeks and could finally start enjoying normal life again as a family. I was to continue with my medication for 12 months and be supported by a community mental health nurse who would visit me at home. I continued to recover from the illness but did relapse a year later, again out of the blue, but this time I could be supported at home and did not need to be admitted.

In 2017 we decided that we would try for another baby. We knew the risks and that there was a 50/50 chance that I would become poorly again but I was determined to put things in place this time to ensure it didn't happen. I was placed under a consultant who I would see regularly and I stopped my medication. We were lucky enough to fall pregnant quite quickly and plans were put in place for me to try to prevent another episode of postpartum psychosis. I was given the option to return to my medication soon after having the baby. I would also stay on the maternity ward for five days after the birth so I could be monitored, and a bed was even held for me at the same Mother and Baby Unit in case I needed it.

Author Kayleigh in a close up photo with her family of four all smiling at the camera with a blue sky background. Left to right Jasmine, Daisy, Kayleigh and husband Dave — Kayleigh’s family: Left to right Jasmine, Daisy, Kayleigh and husband Dave

On 1st August 2018 after the most perfect labour our second daughter Jasmine was born and our little family was now complete. I agreed to stay on the maternity ward for five days after birth as that's when my psychosis happened with Daisy and I was advised if it was to happen again it would be the same time frame. Everything was perfect. I didn't have any of the anxiety or depression that I had experienced previously and we could go home and enjoy life as a family of four.

Eight lovely months passed and we were the perfect family. Then one day the hallucinations came back and I started to see and hear things that weren't there. Having felt like this previously I told my husband Dave that I thought my psychosis was happening again. My family contacted the crisis team and by the time they came to assess me I was catatonic again. I was sectioned and admitted for the second time to the same Mother and Baby Unit. I have been told by my family that this psychosis was way worse than the first and I'm thankful that I actually don't remember a lot of it. I think my mind somehow blocked all the bad stuff out. It took longer for the medication to work this time and after a while my family were concerned that I didn't seem to be getting any better.

It was agreed by my family that I would have electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) which is a treatment that involves sending an electric current through your brain. This causes a brief surge of electrical activity within your brain and helps to relieve severe symptoms of mental health problems. The treatment seemed to work, and I was again allowed home visits starting off with a few hours, then progressing to an overnight stay. Eventually, I was going home for a full week’s home leave.

As with my previous episode of psychosis, I was discharged from the Mother and Baby Unit six weeks after being sectioned. To this day I continue with my medication as I know this is a huge preventative measure to stop me having psychosis in the future.

Author Kayleigh on the right taking a selfie of her with her husband Dave, wearing a purple APP t-shirt during their fundraising walk. — Dave and Kayleigh on their fundraising walk from Sunderland to the Morpeth MBU

It’s now been over five years since my last psychosis and for the first time I’ve felt ready to share my story and raise awareness of this heartbreaking illness. Me and my husband Dave completed a 27 mile charity walk in May for which we walked from our house in Sunderland to St George’s MBU in Morpeth to raise funds for Action on Postpartum Psychosis. We left our home at 5:40am and arrived at St George’s at 4:10pm, 27 miles and 10 and a half hours later, greeted at the end by our lovely daughters Daisy and Jasmine which was a very special moment.

We have the perfect family with our two beautiful daughters and because of what we have been through together it makes me even more grateful for what we have. The whole experience has definitely brought us closer together.

18 June 2024

Cee Jae's 12 hour gameathon for APP

APP supporter Cee Jae has been raising awareness and funds for APP via live streaming their xbox games to Twitch for a while, but now Cee Jae has decided to step up their efforts even further, and on 30th June they will be holding an epic one off, 12 hour non stop streaming event, during which they will also share snippets of their journey through postpartum psychosis, alongside their gaming community gang.

Cee Jae is passionate about raising awareness of PP and of APP and says: 'I received some very meaningful support from APP on recovering from postnatal psychosis myself back a few years ago, so this cause is crucial to me.'

Cee Jae has shared some photos with us, saying 'These are from the time when me and Henri were in the MBU and when he came to visit me with his grandmother when I was in acute wards during my time through PP.

The photo of me and him all grown up (main photo above) is us today, five years later, still healing from the memories myself and still making more beautiful memories with my little dude.

It really is an understatement when I say that I am passionate about spreading awareness. My experience fuels my desire to fundraise for your organisation.'

You can add your support for Cee Jae via JustGiving here.

Follow Cee Jae on their Twitch channel (username mush_roomgoblin)

They are promoting their fundraiser, and more details about their recovery from APP in their discord server too.

30th June also just happens to be Cee Jae's birthday - what a great way to celebrate! We're so grateful to you for choosing to spend your birthday doing this for APP!

13 June 2024

BBC Radio 4 Appeal Round Up

Thank you to everyone who supported APP’s BBC Radio 4 Appeal which was broadcast on 23rd March 2024.

It provided us with an incredible opportunity to reach new audiences, raise awareness of postpartum psychosis as well as APP, and raise vital funds to support our work.

The broadcast is still available to listen to here: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001xm04

The appeal aimed to raise funds and awareness, and reach people who had not heard of APP before.

Our ambassador, author Laura Dockrill presented the appeal, which focused on the importance of providing peer support. As part of the three minute broadcast, Laura shared some of her own PP story, and made a suggested donation ask of £34 which could enable APP to reach out to and support a new mum affected by PP.

All donations made to the appeal were matched by a generous donor.

Alongside the appeal we also successfully applied for an electronic billboard campaign with JC Decaux - this was live for four weeks during March 2024, with a focus on the BBC appeal for one week.

The appeal raised (with Gift Aid and match funding) £18,977. The average donation received was £43.

In addition to this, we also received approximately £8,500 from BBC Radio 4's general appeal fund - meaning the final total for the appeal was a fantastic £27,500. This will make a huge difference to the work we can do supporting mums and families affected by postpartum psychosis.

The impact of the appeal goes far beyond the donations though - the awareness raised will have even longer term effects for APP and the families we support:

Increased profile for APP - only 49 charities are chosen for BBC Radio 4 appeals each year.
Our electronic billboard campaign reached 16 million people across the UK.
MBUs and perinatal mental health teams across the country were invited to listen in, several did and some held listening parties and cake sales to mark the broadcast.
New people found APP - we received letters and emails from individuals who had been personally affected by PP.
The appeal and billboard campaign was shared by Maternal Mental Health Alliance, NCT, Royal College of Midwives, iHealthVisiting, Pandas UK and others.
Huge reach and lots of engagement on social media during the month of the appeal (158,000 reach, a 76% increase on the previous month!) including shares from Laura Dockrill, singer Paloma Faith, musician Hugo White, author Catherine Cho and others.
Anecdotal evidence of increase in referrals to local perinatal mental health teams.
Significant increase in number of new users on our forum.

Some quotes from donors:

‘I am giving a donation as I listen to the Radio 4 appeal - as it was something that happened in our family but was never talked about - our great grandmother died in an asylum in 1901 having been admitted following the birth of my grandmother in 1900. Last year I went to read the medical notes in the public record offices - she was an inmate for a harrowing 10 months, her behaviour - she believed her body was not her own and wished it destroyed - all meticulously recorded by the staff. Sadly she died of an unrelated infection. My grandmother never had a mother. So to find out your charity exists is a good thing. Good luck with your future.’

‘I’m so glad you're raising awareness about this. My mother was a sufferer’

‘I follow Laura Dockrill on Instagram and I saw she had posted about the campaign on Radio 4, which is why I have donated. I know two people who have a suffered from postpartum psychosis and after going through peri and post natal depression myself, I’m so grateful charities such as APP exist. Keep up the good work!’

***

Thank you to everyone for getting involved, donating, sharing our social media posts, holding events and using this appeal as a way to start new conversations about PP and maternal mental health.

6 June 2024

Miles for Mums and Babies 2024

A massive thank you to everyone who has taken part in our 2024 Miles for Mums and Babies challenge so far. We have been so inspired by the number of supporters getting involved and amazed by all the different ways you've come up with to complete your miles - from roller skating to swimming to cycling and dancing, and of course lots of running and walking too.

Here's a round up of some of our Miles for Mums and Babies stars of 2024...

Team Challenges

We love it when teams of healthcare professionals decide to take on a challenge for us. We know how much work goes into these and we’re so grateful for your support!

The Margaret Oates MBU (Mother and Baby Unit) in Nottingham took part in Miles for Mums and Babies for the second year in a row raising nearly £500. This year they covered 365 miles - the physical journey between the Nottingham MBU and Belfast in support of APP’s campaign to raise awareness of the urgent need to a MBU in Northern Ireland.

The team at The Beeches MBU in Derbyshire decided to go for a massive 1240 miles, raising an incredible £1,270. They chose this number as their MBU opened in 1993 and on average they help 40 families a year so it was one mile for every mum or family The Beeches has supported since opening. They covered their miles on team walks, lots of dog walks, got some of the mums they are supporting involved and had a great time.

The Andersen MBU in Manchester initially planned to go for 500 miles but after a flying start they soon upped their target to 750 and ended their challenge on an amazing 951 miles! They've raised an excellent £100 so far and have other events in the pipeline - look out for three of their team taking part in the Manchester Half marathon later this year! Some of the team also took part in our APP team tutu walk in Manchester in May – thank you so much for joining us on the day and supporting the APP team.

The North Wales Perinatal Team each walked, ran, cycled or swam 141 miles throughout the month of May, representing the distance from South Stack on Anglesey to Ribbelemere MBU in Chorley. They say: 'This is where we admit women most often for the highest level of support when they become unwell in the perinatal period. While the support they receive is undoubtedly to a high standard it is a long way for women to be away from their homes and families while they recover.' The team raised a fantastic £350 through their challenge and say they loved being part of it for the second year in a row!

The fab folk at the Suffolk Perinatal Mental Health team walked 1400 miles between them over the month – to raise awareness of the number of new mums who are diagnosed with postpartum psychosis each year. Across a number of different fundraising pages, they raised an amazing total of £2,220 - incredible work! Thank you.

A big group from the Humber Perinatal Mental Health Liaison Team all chose to cover 99km each during May to raise awareness, foster empathy, and generate vital funds to ensure that individuals facing PP receive the support they need. And they did indeed raise an amazing amount - £1,300! Thank you so much - a huge achievement.

A big thank you to all the teams taking part this year!

Individuals

Several of our individual fundraisers are back for their second year - Lisa and her lovely friends completed a five hour walk, raising £1,000 in the process; and amazing Becky chose to repeat her epic 5k a day in May challenge for the second time! Kayleigh and her husband Dave loved their challenge last year so much that they decided to do it again this year, this time walking 27 miles in a single day - the distance from their house in Sunderland to the MBU in Morpeth.

Big congratulations too go to our new Miles for Mums and Babies challengers including Karin who walked a massive 38 miles in a day; Hannah, who ran 50 miles in May; friends Carly and Jessica who raised nearly £1000 between them doing 5k a day; Sarah who walked 300 miles in a month, including a very wet climb up Mount Snowdon; Hannah, a perinatal mental health practitioner in Northern Ireland who ran 50k in May; Nia in Wales who completed 60 miles; Tegan, also in Wales, who aimed for 50 miles but finished on 58! Some challenges are still in progress, including Nicola who is swimming 17 miles - representing the distance her husband had to travel to visit her when she was unwell.

Gwen deserves an extra special shout out as our single biggest Miles for Mums and Babies fundraiser this year - raising over £4,000 with her 96 mile walk - an unbelievable achievement.

Kate is also taking on the challenge for the first time this year, she's in the process of walking 100 miles during May and June and has given us this update: 'I am really enjoying my walking. On about 70 miles now. I have been able to make lots of people aware of PP and the difference to postnatal depression which everyone has heard of! I still can’t believe that so many have never heard of it. So pleased to actually do something positive to help you after 34 years of my first episode.'

So many of our fundraisers have bravely shared their own stories of their experiences of postpartum psychosis, helping to raise awareness and understanding of the illness.

A huge thank you to every single fundraiser who has taken part so far this year, and to every donor who has supported them. The funds raised will go a really long way to helping us support even more mums and families affected by postpartum psychosis.

If you're feeling inspired by all this incredible activity, it's never too late to get involved - you can take on a Miles for Mums and Babies challenge whenever you want to - just drop Fliss an email and she'll help you come up with a plan! Or alternatively you could take on an organised challenge - we have access to places in all sorts of events all over the country - find out more here.

Eli’s story: PP made me miss the first 3 months of being a mum – but we found ways to make up for it

Going home from the Mother and Baby Unit (MBU) was bittersweet. I had missed out on the first three months of being a mum in my own home, but we started afresh, creating a nest, opening presents and taking a short family holiday. It was a truly great way to mark my recovery from such a horrible illness.

I always knew there would be some risk of postpartum psychosis (PP) because I had been previously diagnosed with bipolar. I did all the research, spoke to my doctor and decided to come off my meds while we were trying to get pregnant. When it happened, everything seemed to go smoothly, except in the background, as I have since discovered, things weren’t quite going to plan, as I wasn’t classed as high risk in the system, so my risk wasn’t properly flagged and planned for throughout the process.

The birth itself was simply magical.

I had a rare en caul birth, where my baby boy was born still in the sack, and it was a water birth too. It was a wonderful experience having to break the sack and meet him and, even though this was in the midst of the first lockdown and my partner, James, was only able to be there for the active labour, everything felt right. I was discharged quickly and was home by the following morning.

For the next few weeks I was seemingly quite well, aside from feeling a bit down because I couldn’t have anyone visit and fawn over the baby due to lockdown. However, when he was about a month old I started getting paranoid thoughts, collapsing and having panic attacks. I’ve got a big family and we’re very close so I was calling them all, telling them that there was something wrong with me. I started getting paranoid that James was having an affair and that resulted in me going to stay with my parents for a week.

By this point I hadn’t been sleeping, and I had been off my meds for about a year.

My psychosis quickly intensified, from paranoid thoughts and panic attacks to acting out, believing strange things, praying on the ground and vomiting. I ended up being admitted to an MBU (Mother and Baby Unit) and I was quickly put back on my meds, but it took a little while to get back on track - probably because my hormones were all over the place. I also think it’s quite normal to have a dip when you’re first admitted, and I certainly didn’t do all that well at first. I had to have 24-hour observation so there was always someone watching me which was a bit unnerving. In fact, when I was acutely unwell, in some ways it felt like the end of the world, because I had no idea what was real and what wasn’t.

After a while though I started to improve. I began working more positively with the professionals and getting involved in all the activities on offer – from the sensory room and baby massage, to pampering for the mums, exercise classes, arts and crafts and baking.

I also accessed peer support in the MBU, and I met Jocelyn and Hannah from APP who would pop in a few times a week. We’d have cups of tea and chat and it made such a big difference to me. Finding other women who had been through the same things as me was really reassuring and it gave me so much hope.

In total, I was in hospital for about ten or eleven weeks, and then finally I was able to go home.

I was really excited about getting back home. I was desperate to make my nest with my baby and catch up on all the things we’d missed out on at the start of our parenting journey. It was August so we treated ourselves to a short break to Wales, spending time outside and on the beach which was lovely. And at home, with all our home comforts around us and the new baby presents we hadn’t been able to open when I was so poorly, things were starting to get much better. We started our baby memory book, and I began going to baby yoga classes and meeting up with other mums for short walks outdoors. I was really proud of myself and how far I’d come.

I was under the perinatal team for some time, having a nurse visit each week, but I found this really helpful and we had such a good rapport. If there were any problems I knew I could turn to her. But my recovery was going really well at the time.

Sadly, I did have a brief relapse in 2022. While my bipolar and pregnancy obviously created a risk for PP, it was then discovered that I also had Graves Disease – a hyperthyroid problem that can trigger very similar symptoms to bipolar. I didn’t experience psychosis this time around, but it was an episode of mania that resulted in another hospitalisation. I’ve since found out that hyperthyroidism runs in my family and it can be triggered around pregnancy and childbirth. While it was some time after giving birth that I became manic, I do still wonder if there was a hormonal link.

Since that episode though everything has been managed well and I’m back on my bipolar meds, as well as my thyroid medication.

I’ve felt stable and well and feel really positive about the future.

It was after this relapse and well into my recovery from it that I had a kind of full circle moment. I was thinking about all the peer support I received at the MBU, as well as through the APP café groups I attended after my hospital discharge. I really wanted to give something back, so I applied for a role as an APP volunteer, and then, after some time volunteering, I applied for a job as a sessional peer support worker, which I was offered and still do to this day. It feels amazing being able to pass on that support and help other women.

James and I have decided not to have any more children, which is difficult to come to terms with and in some ways feels like a sort of grief. However, the risk of PP happening again, combined with my age and the fact that I am taking hyperthyroid meds kind of brought us to that conclusion. It’s sad, but I am so grateful for the wonderful family I have.

We’ve had our ups and downs but if anything, this experience has just made us stronger. Coming back from an illness like PP is hard, but we’ve found our groove, and now we’re just focusing on making happy memories together.

4 June 2024

Shaheda’s story: A foot spa on the MBU turned into a really powerful peer support session

While I was unwell and under the care of a Mother and Baby Unit (MBU), I accepted the offer of a foot spa from a lady on the ward. I thought it was just a pampering session to help me feel better but meeting her was to prove far more powerful than that.

Mental health isn’t talked about enough in the Bangladeshi community. I for one had no prior mental health problems and had never heard of postpartum psychosis (PP) until I was diagnosed with it in 2018. It came like a bolt out of the blue and, while my faith and spirituality has always got me through the tough times, I realised I needed more support than ever during that period.

My journey to giving birth wasn’t easy. I had two back-to-back miscarriages and was referred for investigations in 2017. However, the doctor advised us to keep trying, and I fell pregnant again at the start of 2018.

I felt really anxious about it, but Birmingham Women’s Hospital were great, really looking after me and the pregnancy seemed to progress really well. After the first trimester, I started to relax into it.

However, as the birth approached, things didn’t quite go as planned. Three days before my induction date they found signs of preeclampsia, and I was kept in for monitoring. I spent two nights on a labour ward and wasn’t able to sleep due to everything that was going on around me. Once the induction was started it did not progress well, so I ended up having a Caesarean and then my beautiful baby girl finally arrived.

By this point I hadn’t slept in over six days and, looking back, this is when I started to become unwell.

I remember the first morning in hospital after the birth the noises around me felt piercingly loud – cleaning, banging, bins clattering, mops and buckets. My senses were heightened and I couldn’t wait to get home. I was exhausted and completely overwhelmed with emotions.

I thought being at home would make everything OK, but I was still extremely emotional. I was unable to sleep, I struggled with breastfeeding and I felt like a failure.

One night in bed, my husband gave me a piece of Indian sweet that I usually love, but when I put it in my mouth it felt like superglue. I started thinking somebody was trying to poison me and I became really anxious and felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I don’t remember too much about what happened next but my family came round, and they were frantically checking my pulse, my blood pressure and my sugar levels. They then called an ambulance because I was acting so out of character and was in so much distress.

The first time the paramedics came out I was behaving quite normally again – this can happen with PP, where you have these episodes but your behaviours can seemingly return to normal in between. However, I must have got much worse after they left that first time because the next thing I remember is waking up in an ambulance as I was taken to A&E.

I remember feeling like I couldn’t trust anyone - I didn’t even trust my family with my baby and I believed the doctors were all fake.

At that point I was just sent home with medication, but things got much worse over the following days. I became obsessed with cleanliness, obsessed with prayer. I began feeling paranoid, thinking that someone was out to get me, and then I started thinking that my daughter was special and that I had the secret to the universe in my head.

So many things were going round and round in my mind, I felt scared all the time to the point I couldn’t go to the bathroom alone. I couldn’t eat because of weird tastes in my mouth. I kept trying to connect dots and draw special meanings from everything around me. I felt like my brain was firing on all cylinders; that I had a higher knowledge and special abilities.

I ended up going back to the GP but this time it was because my daughter had some gastric problems. But while I was there, I had another episode, throwing a cup of water on the floor and demanding to see a different GP. The doctor realised I was really unwell and referred me to mental health services.

By the Monday, when my midwife and health visitor came, they found me dancing around, falling on the floor and trying to hide under the sofa. It was this episode that sparked the emergency admission to a general psych ward. It was awful – my thoughts were racing and it felt like the end of the world. I thought I was going to be locked away forever.

After two nights on the ward I was referred to a Mother and Baby Unit (MBU). It was Christmas Eve when I was admitted and most of the patients had gone home. This made my beliefs about the nurses and doctors not being real even more intense.

But slowly, I started to have this realisation that being in hospital was indeed real and just what I needed. I picked up a leaflet in the corridor that explained what PP was and I started googling it and reading about it on my phone. It was all starting to make sense.

At the MBU I was reunited with my daughter and my husband was able to come and help too. Although I was reluctant to interact with other patients, I bonded with some of the staff. I started journaling, noting down dates and times, setting things out chronologically. I started following a routine and this helped me to stay calm. Simple actions like waking up and showering, making breakfast, and keeping to a set pattern really helped my recovery.

Something truly wonderful also happened while I was staying on the MBU.

The lady who was there giving manicures and pedicures to patients treated me to a foot spa, and it was while we were chatting that she told me she also had experience of PP. This was the first time I heard somebody else talking about going through exactly what I had. I was blown away by how much we had in common. She was Greek so we shared some of our cultural experiences about mental health awareness in our communities too. Just talking about those paranoias and fears that went through my head was so helpful.

By the February, after a few days at home, I was discharged into the community team. By the September I went back to work. I was more or less fully recovered. I gave up my psychology sessions because I felt well enough but I do regret not talking about it more.

Thankfully, the lady I met on the MBU sent me some leaflets about APP and the support on offer. I didn’t reach out right away, but when I did, I met Natalie and had some great peer support sessions over a coffee. It was a while after that when APP’s CEO, Jess, asked me if I’d like to get involved in the charity’s diverse communities programme and I haven’t looked back.

I’m now a peer support worker helping other women and hosting the Muslim women’s café group, as well as raising more awareness of PP in Black and Asian communities. I really want to get people talking about PP. I, for one, believe if I had known about PP I could have got help sooner.

I think speaking to others is really important because you realise that you’re not alone. My husband and my family have been brilliant, especially my husband who bore the brunt of everything. I can’t thank him enough for all the support he gave me. But it’s also good to talk to someone who has been there. I urge anyone who has been through PP or is recovering from it to reach out for support. Don’t struggle on alone.

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