23 January 2025

New Theatre Production Shines Light on Postpartum Psychosis and Challenges Stigma

We're thrilled to announce that the theatre production we have been supporting Company Four with to shine a light on Postpartum Psychosis will be opening at the end of this month at Waterside Arts, Sale.

Who Is Your Mummy and Where Did She Go? is a powerful and thought-provoking theatre production aimed at raising awareness of postpartum psychosis and reducing the stigma surrounding maternal mental health.

Opening on Friday, January 31st , the production explores historical narratives of women diagnosed with postpartum psychosis, using their stories to reflect on contemporary care and societal attitudes. This unique blend of theatre and advocacy brings together compelling storytelling, live performance, and projected poetry to create an emotionally resonant and inspiring experience.

 A Vital Message for Today

Postpartum psychosis (PP) is a severe but treatable mental health condition that affects around 1-2 in every 1000 births. Core symptoms may include not needing to or being unable to sleep, hallucinations, delusions, confusions and mania. While support and treatment have improved over the years, stigma and a lack of understanding still prevent many women from seeking help. This production aims to foster compassion and understanding by using the past as a guide to inform and improve today’s care.

A Call for Change

This production is not just a performance—it’s a call to action. By raising awareness, challenging stigma, and advocating for better care, Who Is Your Mummy and Where Did She Go? invites audiences to be part of a conversation that has the potential to save lives.

Director Gemma Whitley explains,

“This show is not just about history—it’s about the present. By exploring the untold stories of women from the past, we’re inviting audiences to rethink how we view and support maternal mental health today. Theatre has the power to open up these conversations in a deeply human and accessible way.”

 A Collaborative Effort

The production has been supported by APP.  Jenny Stevenson, our National Peer Support Co-ordinator (Online Services), said:

'Members of the APP team and our lived experience community have been delighted to support this production through the research and development process and through creative workshops. Giving a voice to postpartum psychosis and maternal mental health through art is extremely powerful - we are looking forward to seeing the performances and how sharing our experiences of postpartum psychosis has helped to inform the production.'

 Waterside Arts, a vibrant cultural hub in Sale, is proud to host the production. Darren Adams, Venue Manager at Waterside says ‘Waterside is delighted to support theatre artists in developing meaningful discussions around contemporary issues, fostering creativity and dialogue within our community’

Event Details:

Dates: Friday, January 31st 2025 & Saturday, February 1st2025

Location: Waterside Arts, Sale

For further information or to buy tickets, click here. 

To find out more about the exhibition, click here.

Join the Conversation

As part of the production, there will also be a curated exhibition featuring poetry and artwork by women who have experienced postpartum psychosis, offering a deeply personal and moving insight into their journeys. Post-show discussions with the creative team and mental health professionals will further explore how we can collectively work to break the silence around maternal mental health.

 

22 January 2025

APP January 2025 Newsletter

Kick off the New Year with an exciting fundraising challenge for APP!

Are you ready to try something new and exciting this year? If so, we can help! We have access to places in hundreds of running, cycling and swimming events up and down the country, and throughout the year. Tough Mudders, obstacle courses, trail runs, London - Paris cycle rides, full and half marathons and so much more - we have something for all abilities.  Check out a few highlights here.

Get inspired by Rob’s story: Last year Rob took part in the Great North Run for APP and shared an inspiring account:

As soon as we set off, the adrenaline of taking part in such a massive fundraising event kicked in. 60,000 people of all ages and abilities were running and thousands more braved the elements to cheer us on. Hearing a total stranger call your name when your joints are aching with lactic acid is one of the best pick-me-ups going.

Read Rob’s full story here.

If you’re looking for a challenge that doesn’t involve any training - just a lot of bravery - we can also organise bungee jumps and skydives! 

Brighton Marathon weekend - 6th April

Join us for this year’s Brighton Marathon weekend on 6th April. We have a huge team taking part including four marathon runners, plus APP supporter Juliette has gathered a team of 15 of her friends and family to take on the Brighton 10K on the same day.  APP cheerleaders will be out in force so it should be a day to remember! If you'd like to join the APP cheerleaders at this event, please let Rachel know. 

We still have one place remaining for the full marathon - let Fliss know asap if you’d like to join us on the day and be part of the fun.

Miles for Mums and Babies 2025

Miles for Mums and Babies is back for 2025 so get planning your challenge if you’d like to be part of it.  Last year saw APP supporters run, walk, swim and rollerskate their miles to raise funds and awareness. It’s a wonderful way to mark Maternal Mental Health Week in May, but you can start your challenge any time that suits you.

Good luck to The North London Foundation Trust (NLFT) Perinatal Services team who are the first to get going in 2025, with their team aiming to cover 1,400 miles in January and February!

Find out more about how you can get involved with Miles for Mums and Babies 2025 here.

Join APP’s First Ever Adventure -
21st June, Mam Tor, Peak District

This Summer, we’re inviting you to join us for the APP Adventure 2025 in the beautiful Peak District. Taking place on 21st June, we’re aiming to bring together APP staff, volunteers, supporters, family, friends and healthcare professionals from all over the UK for a walking challenge of Mam Tor (“Mother Hill”)

  • Saturday 21st June - Mam Tor Challenge, Peak District, Derbyshire
  • An 8 mile/13 km circular walk, taking approx 4 hours, including Mam Tor, passing through the village of Hope. (A longer 20 mile trek is available too on the same day depending on demand - let us know if you're interested)
  • Total ascent: 514m
  • 11am start time
  • £25 registration fee secures your place (plus a £200 suggested fundraising target)

What's included:

  • Event run by charity challenge organisers Sky Blue Adventures
  • APP T-shirt, medal and goody bag
  • APP fundraising pack and support with your fundraising activities
  • Experienced mountain leaders (fully qualified and first aid trained)
  • Snacks, plenty of laughs, the chance to make new friends and memories!

We already have quite a team signed up. We'd love you to join us.  Register here, or if you have any questions, drop Fliss a message on fundraising@app-network.org. 

Support APP by donating shares to ShareGift

We’ve had a lovely start to the year hearing that ShareGift has chosen APP to receive a £7,500 donation!

ShareGift works by collecting together small lots of shares until there are enough to sell, then donating the proceeds to charities. If you have any number of shares that would cost more to sell than they are worth, donate them to ShareGift, mention Action on Postpartum Psychosis and they’ll do the rest. It’s straightforward and free to do. Find out more: www.sharegift.org or email Fliss on fundraising@app-network.org. 

Finally...

Watch this space for some BIG news about the 2026 London Marathon..!

Health professional training - book now for training in February!

I thought this training was absolutely excellent. It was invaluable to hear lived experience and I felt confident in the absolute expertise of everyone included.

Don’t miss APP’s next health professional training day on the 5th February.

Our workshop, “Best Practice care in Postpartum Psychosis” equips health professionals with the essential skills and knowledge to: 

  • recognise and manage the early signs of PP; 
  • stay up to date with the latest research into causes, risk factors, treatments and best practice care; 
  • Support women and their families confidently from diagnosis to recovery and beyond. 

You’ll hear from those with lived experience, APP staff, academics and clinicians. This highly rated training receives consistently positive feedback, with 100% saying they would recommend it to colleagues.

You can find out more and book a place here.
Student discount is available, please enquire over email for more information: training@app-network.org. 

Evaluation study of APP’s peer support embedded within Mother and Baby Units

A new study, led by the Care Policy and Evaluation Centre (CPEC) at The London School of Economics, is underway to evaluate APP’s peer support projects in Mother and Baby Units (MBUs).

The RAPPORT study (Realist evaluation of Action on Postpartum Psychosis’ MBU peer suppORT) will assess APP-provided peer support at three Mother and Baby Units in England. Researchers will carry out in-depth conversations with mothers who have accessed support, APP peers and managers, and NHS staff to understand how the charity’s model impacts women's lives.

Peer support in Mother and Baby Units is patchy and varies across the country. This research, funded by the Three NIHR (National Institute for Health and Care Research) Schools Mental Health Programme, aims to understand the benefits and essential ingredients. It aims to identify the resources needed for effective implementation and assess value for money.

The research will be conducted at MBUs in Lancashire, Birmingham and Manchester. Dr Jess Heron, APP Chief Executive, said:

We’re delighted to be part of this important study which will help advance understanding of effective peer support in MBUs for those with severe postnatal illness.

If you have been supported by an APP peer worker in Lancashire, Birmingham, Manchester or Morpeth, and would be willing to take part, please get in touch: app@app-network.org. 

You can read more about APP’s embedded NHS peer support here. 

Join an APP café group

APP runs regional peer support café groups around the country. We also have an online group for Muslim mums, LGBTQ+ families, grandparents, and dads/co-parents.

Don’t worry if you live in an area without a regional group; we run a monthly peer support group on Zoom for anyone living anywhere in the UK.

All these groups are welcoming and friendly places where you can meet others, share experiences and find out more about APP. Come along, whether you are newly recovering from PP or had PP many years ago.

Information about all our peer support, including upcoming café group dates are available on our website here. You can watch a video here by APP’s Jessie about our London café group which shows how our meetings work. 

Who Is Your Mummy And Where Did She Go? – Show and Exhibition

Tickets are on sale now at Waterside Arts, Sale, Manchester for Company Four’s new theatre production and exhibition, Who Is Your Mummy And Where Did She Go? (pictured above) 

APP families have attended workshops, contributed artwork and shared their experiences to help inform the production, which focuses on postpartum psychosis. Members of the APP team will be in attendance on both evenings - do email us if you plan to attend. We’d love to meet you!

The Show

  • Location: Waterside Arts, Sale
  • Dates: Friday, 31st January and Saturday, 1st February 2025
  • More information and tickets: HERE

The Exhibition

  • Dates: Saturday, 18th January – Saturday, 18th February 2025
  • Location: Waterside Arts, Sale
  • Further information: HERE

PP storytelling

Until it happened to me I had no idea about postpartum psychosis. I want other mothers to know that, no matter how frightening it is, you can recover with the right help.

APP’s fantastic volunteers regularly share their experiences of postpartum psychosis to help raise awareness of PP and campaign for improved services. APP offers support throughout the process, with planning, writing, sharing and reflecting upon the experience.

Thank you to Georgina, Natalie and Jenni whose stories have recently been added to our website.  

If you have been affected by these stories, need any support, or want to meet others affected by PP, please get in touch. 

Dates for your diary

  • APP Sussex and Hampshire virtual café group meet up, Monday 27th January
  • APP Northern Ireland  virtual café group meet up, Thursday 6th February
  • APP Lancashire and south Cumbria face to face café group meet up in Blackburn, Friday 7th February
  • APP Scotland face to face café group meet up in Edinburgh, Saturday 8th February
  • APP Wales face to face café group meet up, Saturday 8th February
  • APP Lancashire and south Cumbria virtual café group meet up in Newcastle, Monday 10th February
  • APP UK wide  virtual café group meet up, Thursday 13th February
  • APP North East face to face café group meet up in Newcastle, Monday 17th February
  • APP dads and co-parents virtual café group meet up, Wednesday 19th February
  • APP Manchester face to face café group meet up, Friday 21st February
  • APP grandparents virtual café group meet up, Monday 24th February
  • APP Sussex and Hampshire virtual café group meet up, Monday 24th February
  • APP London virtual café group meet up, Thursday 27th February
  • APP Birmingham face to face café group meet up at Canon Hill Park, Friday 28th February

Contact information for all APP café groups is available here. 

Events/conferences

Online singing group for new mums with symptoms of postnatal depression, starting 30th January

Free singing group for women experiencing low mood, anxiety, stress, social isolation, symptoms of postnatal depression or who have experienced postpartum psychosis with babies aged 12 months or below. Run by Breathe Arts Health Research, this is a 10 week programme and women from anywhere in the country can join via Zoom. More details here. 

See me. Hear me. The Conversation, Wednesday 12th February

Maternity Engagement Action event for healthcare professionals, policymakers, community advocates and local Black or Black Mixed Heritage mums looking at disparities in maternal care and discussing actionable steps to create a healthcare framework centred on equity. More details and tickets here. 

Half day introduction to perinatal mental health, Thursday 13th February

Online mental health training for those supporting parents during pregnancy, birth and beyond run by Lifeboat Perinatal Mental Health. More details and booking information here.

 Suicide&Co’s sector summit, Thursday 27th February

In-person and online day for for professionals working with individuals bereaved by suicide. More details and booking information here.

From Harm to Hope: the 10th annual Self Harm and Suicide Prevention festival, Friday 28th February

In-person and online annual conference run by Harmless – the national centre of excellence for self harm and suicide prevention. The day will feature a range of expert speakers and leading academics. Booking information here.

Mental Health and Wellbeing Wales Conference, Wednesday 12th March

Face to face conference in Cardiff, chaired by Mind Cymru. Welsh health and social care providers, employers, public service providers, schools, universities and community groups to discuss the next steps for improving mental health in Wales. More details and booking information here. 

Black Maternal Health Conference UK, Friday 21st March

Face to face event in London for healthcare providers, researchers, policymakers, advocates, students and mothers to address maternal health disparities. Organised by The Motherhood Group. More details and booking information here. 

If you would like to advertise your event here, please get in touch: app@app-network.org.

7 January 2025

Join us for an APP Adventure!

Join us for our first ever APP Adventure!

Imagine taking part in an invigorating hike through beautiful Derbyshire countryside, alongside other women and families who have been affected by postpartum psychosis. Talking, sharing stories and coming together to raise awareness and funds to help make a difference for others.

Be part of our first APP Adventure.

Image of Peak District with blue sky above green hillsSaturday 21st June - Mam Tor Challenge, Peak District, Derbyshire

  • Mam Tor means 'Mother Hill' 💜
  • An 8 mile/13km circular walk, including Mam Tor and passing through the village of Hope.
  • Total ascent: 514m
  • Time: Approx 4 hours

 

Registration Fee: £25
Minimum fundraising target: £200

What's included:

  • Event run by experienced charity challenge organisers Sky Blue Adventures
  • APP fundraising pack and support with your fundraising activities
  • APP branded t-shirt
  • Goody bag
  • APP medal
  • Highly experienced mountain leaders (fully qualified and first aid trained)
  • Insurance
  • Snacks to keep your energy up on the day
  • Lots of laughs, smiles and the chance to make new friends and memories!

Pink rectangle with the words 'click here to book your place'

Places are limited so register soon to secure your place in our first APP Adventure Team!

 

If you have any questions or need more info before you register, contact Fliss - fundraising@app-network.org

We can't wait for you to join us on our first APP Adventure!

1 January 2025

What it's like to run for APP

'At the start of the year, I fancied setting myself a challenge, so I signed up for the Great North Run. Rather than applying through the ballot, I chose to raise money for Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP), a small mental health charity which had been supporting my wife.

APP accepted my application and asked me to raise £250, which sounded achievable. The charity said it had two other free spots left, so I convinced my sister-in-law and her boyfriend to join me.

I hadn’t run for a few years and getting back into it was hard, particularly navigating the hills of Caterham where I live. When I began training, I ran out of puff after a couple of miles, but I pushed myself to go a bit further each week. The charity had sent us all fundraising packs, including a snazzy vest, and encouraging emails, which motivated us to keep at it.

APP’s professional fundraiser Fliss had also asked me why I had chosen to run for her charity. Postpartum psychosis is a rare and serious mental illness that my wife had suddenly developed just before our daughter was born. I told Fliss my wife had used the charity’s peer support network during her recovery. She said the charity hosted a similar service for partners and gave me the contact details for Simon, who organised it.

I had resisted speaking to anyone about my experience of my wife’s illness previously. After all, it was she who had been put through it, not me. I am also an introvert and, perhaps like a lot of men, prefer to deal with things myself than ask for help. A big reason why I wanted to run again was to try and control my rising daily anxiety.

But Fliss was friendly and her introduction to Simon made speaking to someone seem less scary. So, I chatted to some of the other partners through APP’s network. While our experiences varied, I was relieved to hear them echo a lot of my thoughts over the previous months and I felt less alone.

By race day, my fellow APP fundraisers and I had trained hard and were ready to take on the half marathon distance. We were less prepared for the north east weather and briefly regretted our decision to take part when we stood in the pouring rain on the start line.

But as soon as we set off, the adrenaline of taking part in such a massive fundraising event kicked in. 60,000 people of all ages and abilities were running and thousands more braved the elements to cheer us on. Hearing a total stranger call your name when your joints are aching with lactic acid is one of the best pick-me-ups going.
One odd thing I saw was these tunnels every few miles that sprayed water on you as you ran through them. A year earlier, there had been a heatwave, so a refreshing shower might have been welcome. But running in the heavy rain, as I was, I could not see why so many people were still using them.
The final mile along the South Shields coastline was particularly spectacular. The rain had eased off at this point, you could smell the sea air and the packed crowd’s applause carried you to the finish.
When you cross the line, you wonder what to do next for a moment as the realisation of your achievement sinks in. All the early morning starts, protein shakes, injury concerns and ice baths finally put to one side. It doesn’t matter what happens now because you’ve done it.
I grabbed my medal and free refreshments and stood looking at the beach as I waited for my wife and our friend to find me. Then the adrenaline wore off and I was freezing cold so I headed for a busy tent where a band called the Gatecrashers were warming up.
As I struggled to get phone signal among the crowd, a man started talking to me. I thought it was just an affable Geordie at first but he explained that he had previously run for APP as his wife had also had postpartum psychosis. We chatted for a few minutes about our experiences and shook hands. It felt nice to be part of a small community in the middle of a much larger group of fundraisers.
My wife thankfully arrived with my jacket and we soaked up the atmosphere with my fellow APP runners. We grabbed a beer and some food before braving the crammed metro train back to where we were staying.
Rob's sister in law Philippa, with her boyfriend Owen and another of our GNR team, Tim, in the centre.

The best thing was that the three of us had more than tripled our fundraising targets. Thanks to many surprisingly generous donations, we raised over £2,300 plus gift aid.

 

I had signed up initially to raise money to support new mothers like my wife but had become an APP beneficiary myself along the way.

 

Perhaps just as important, I was given two shiny medals that can keep our baby daughter entertained for a good few minutes.'

If you feel inspired to take on a challenge for APP like Rob, check out our events page here or email Fliss for more info.

18 December 2024

APP December 2024 Newsletter

Season's Greetings and a Happy New Year from all of us at APP

A message from APP's Chief Executive, Dr Jessica Heron:

“As we come to the end of 2024, I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported APP this year. It’s been one of our busiest years, and we are all so appreciative of everyone who has volunteered for APP, made generous donations to support our work, taken on fundraising challenges, and re-shared and amplified our campaigns and stories on social media.

Thanks to the hard work and dedication of our staff and volunteers, this year we provided peer support to 1,062 women, partners and grandparents, including 683 individuals supported by an APP peer via our NHS partnership projects. We held 148 café group meetings, including regional meet ups plus online groups for grandparents, partners, LGBTQI+ families, Muslim women, and for those managing an ongoing Bipolar diagnosis, as well as book club and creative sessions. We launched a new bereavement support service and trained five new bereavement peer support volunteers.

Earlier in the year, we launched our newest Insider Guide:  “Being a parent after PP”.  There were more than 9,000 views of our 3-minute video ‘How To Talk To Expectant Parents About Postpartum Psychosis’ with Midwife Marley, highlighting our free training toolkit for antenatal educators. 192 of these toolkits were sent to maternity hospitals across the UK.

Our powerful digital billboard campaign to raise awareness about PP and signpost to the resources and support APP offers was seen by 16 million people across the UK (with billboard space and design expertise donated by JC Decaux and award-winning PR agency MotherLondon). In March, we ran our first-ever charity appeal on BBC Radio 4, presented by our impressive Ambassador, Laura Dockrill, raising £27,500.

This year’s Alex Baish Memorial Webinar “Essential knowledge for preventing maternal suicide” saw 3,891 sign-ups from health professionals. Since 2014, 22,000 health professionals have heard an APP lived experience speaker and 650 health professionals have attended APP’s full day training.  After years of campaigning, we attended the official groundbreaking for Seren Lodge - a new Mother and Baby Unit that will care for those with severe postnatal illness in North Wales and the Chester region: our campaign to secure funding and a timescale for a Northern Ireland MBU continues. 

All of us at APP would like to wish you and your loved ones a very happy festive period. At APP we know that for some women and families, Christmas and New Year can be a difficult time, particularly for those with loved ones spending Christmas in an MBU or struggling with recovery. You are not on our own – APP’s peer supporters are available every day of the year via our Forum”.

 Peer Support during the festive period

APP’s Forum is open as usual over the festive period. Our staff and volunteers are ready to talk to anyone who needs support. If you would like to talk to others who have been there, please get in touch.

If you are emailing the APP office or requesting one to one email or video call support over the festive period, please bear with us. It may take a few days for us to get back to you.

Christmas in a Mother and Baby Unit – we are there for you

Hospital isn’t the place anyone wants to spend their first Christmas as a family – but some mums will spend some or all of the festive period in a Mother and Baby Unit (MBU).

APP’s peer support teams in our NHS partnership projects have worked on MBUs since 2018 and we know what it’s like – not just for mums but for partners and other family members too. Our embedded peer support workers have been running Christmas craft events for mothers currently on MBUs, like those pictured above at Andersen Ward in Manchester and work with staff to make MBUs feel like home away from home.

Please know that we are there for you – find out more about APP peer support on our website.

Whilst it’s not always easy to think now, you will get better. If you or your loved one is in hospital, there are still special memories to be made for your baby’s first Christmas. You can read others’ experiences on our website as well as find ideas about how to write a card to a mum who is spending the festive period (or any time of the year) in hospital from our Birmingham MBU Peer Support Facilitator, Soukaina, here.

Health professional training: book now for 2025

Book now for APP’s health professional training days. Our workshop, “Best Practice care in Postpartum Psychosis” is designed to help professionals: recognise and manage the early signs of PP; remain up to date with research into causes, risk factors, best practice care and treatment; and feel confident supporting women and families through to full recovery and beyond. The day is highly rated by attendees, with 100% saying they would recommend it to colleagues:

"I thought this training was absolutely excellent. It was invaluable to hear lived experience and I felt confident in the absolute expertise of everyone included."

"The training material is excellent, and I hope this training will be offered to all mental health professions."

The next online training day is 5th February 2025. You can find out more and book a place here.

We are recruiting

APP is looking for a new casual Peer Support Worker to join our team providing peer support to women who have experienced postpartum psychosis (PP) across Greater London, and to help raise awareness of PP and the support available to women and families.

We’re looking for someone to  work with our team to respond to requests for peer support, talking to women one-to-one, via email, telephone and video call as well as in-person. The role also involves  being part of a team running a monthly social ‘cafe’ group for recovering and recovered women with experience of PP. The new Peer Support Worker will build relationships with the three Mother and Baby Units (MBUs) in the Greater London area, raising awareness of APP peer support services and café group meetings amongst staff and families.

There’s more information about the role on our website.

The closing date for applications is midnight on Monday 13th January 2025.

Big Give thanks

Thank you so much to everyone who supported our Big Give Christmas Challenge appeal this year. We raised an amazing £4,408!

This will go a really long way to help us develop information and signposting for women and families facing legal or rights based issues after a PP diagnosis. Find out more here and watch this space over the next year for updates.

Thank you also to our generous supporter and to the Hospital Saturday Fund for matching donations for the duration of the Big Give appeal.

2025 challenges

If you’re already thinking ahead to the new year and what you want to achieve in 2025, why not check out the huge range of fundraising challenges we have on offer - from 2.5k fun runs to cycle rides, swims and ultra-length trail runs - plus tough mudders, skydives and bungee jumps - we have something for everyone and all across the UK (and beyond!) Take a look at all the events you can choose from here.  Sign up and get a FREE APP top, a fundraising pack, and loads of support and encouragement!


A big thank you to Lucy who organised a fabulous festive Big Bake and raffle in Garvagh, Northern Ireland last month to raise funds for APP. They sold out of everything they made and enjoyed it so much, they’re planning to make it an annual event! Thanks Lucy!

Join us for our first-ever APP Adventure!

Next June, we’re inviting you to join a team of APP staff, volunteers and supporters to take on an exciting hiking challenge in the Peak District!

We’ll be doing an inspiring 8 mile circular walk through the beautiful Derbyshire countryside, taking in the iconic Mam Tor (Mother Hill) and going through the village of Hope.

Together, with women, parents and families who have been affected by postpartum psychosis, we’ll make memories and enjoy breathtaking views - all while raising funds and awareness for the charity Action on Postpartum Psychosis to support others.

We’re really excited about it and we’d love you to be part of the adventure. Numbers are limited, so reserve your place soon here.

📅 When: Saturday 21st June

📍 Where: Peak District, Derbyshire

✨ 8 mile (13km) circular walk

🗻 Includes Mam Tor and the village of Hope

⏳ Duration: Approx. 4 hours

🎯 £25 registration fee, £200 fundraising target per person

💌 Questions? Please contact Fliss at: fundraising@app-network.org

Dates for your diary

  • APP Manchester face to face café group meet up, Friday 20th December
  • APP Muslim women’s virtual café group meet up, Friday 20th December
  • APP Lancashire and south Cumbria face to face café group meet up in Blackburn, Friday 3rd January 2025
  • APP Northern Ireland virtual café group meet up, Tuesday 7th January 2025
  • APP Lancashire and south Cumbria face to face café group meet up in Blackpool, Friday 10th January 2025
  • APP Lancashire and south Cumbria virtual café group meet up, Monday 13th January 2025
  • APP Lancashire and south Cumbria face to face café group meet up in Lancaster, Wednesday 15th January 2025
  • APP dads and co-parents virtual café  group meet up, Wednesday 15th January 2025
  • APP Lancashire and south Cumbria face to face café group meet up in Preston, Friday 17th January 2025
  • APP London face to face café group meet up, Saturday 18th January 2025
  • APP North East face to face café group meet up in Newcastle, Monday 20th January 2025
  • APP Manchester face to face café group meet up, Friday 24th January 2025
  • APP Sussex and Hampshire virtual café group meet up in Newcastle, Monday 27th January 2025
  • APP North East face to face café group meet up in Newcastle, Monday 17th February 2025
  • APP Manchester face to face café group meet up, Friday 21st February 2025

Contact information for all APP café groups is available here.

17 December 2024

City Bridge Foundation provides significant funding for peer support

We are delighted to announce that Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) has received 5 years of funding from City Bridge Foundation – London’s biggest independent charity funder – for a project to provide peer support for London-based women and families affected by postpartum psychosis (PP).

The new funding will help APP build a PP peer support community and is for anyone living in London affected by PP - whether newly recovering or with experience of PP many years ago. The project will reduce isolation, break through stigma, and provide empathy and hope. APP groups are social, supportive, warm and fun, with a wellbeing focus. Members of the community can train as volunteers as they recover and develop new skills. 

Tragically, suicide is the leading cause of maternal death in the 12 months after having a baby. PP is the most severe form of postnatal mental illness affecting 1 to 2 in every 1000 new mums. With the right help, people recover, but the journey to full recovery can be hard. There is much work to do to raise awareness, ensure swift diagnosis, enable families to access specialist treatment and tailored peer support to help women and families feel less alone.

The City Bridge Foundation funding will provide several opportunities for us to improve support to families.

A photo of an APP peer support cafe group, with four women sitting around a table of soft and hot drinks smiling to camera

We will be recruiting an additional peer support worker to cover the London area, ensuring that more women and families have access to this powerful form of support. This will include a regular London PP community café group and one-to-one peer support.

We will also be given additional funds to focus on targeted awareness raising in the London area, connect with London Mother and Baby Units (MBUs), and to run creative workshops.

Ellie Ware, APP National Peer Support Coordinator said:

“We are so thrilled to receive this grant. This will help us to reach more families in London affected by postpartum psychosis (PP), and to offer more peer support than we currently offer. This will include running a monthly in person peer support café group. We know our peer support is life changing for women and families, and that it massively helps with the isolation, grief, and stigma people experience when they have had PP”.

To find out more about the London Peer Support Worker role, please click here.

If you have been affected by postpartum psychosis and you live in the London area, please join the APP network for updates here.

If you have been affected by suicide relating to postpartum psychosis, you can find out about our new bereavement support group here.

If you are from an MBU or Perinatal Team in the London area, please sign up for our MBU newsletter here. 

About City Bridge Foundation 

City Bridge Foundation is a world-class bridge owner responsible for five Thames crossings – including the iconic Tower Bridge – and London’s biggest independent charity funder. 

It awards over £30 million a year in grants to charitable organisations across London and has made a further £200 million available over the five years to 2026 to support the capital’s charity sector. 

City Bridge Foundation has been bridging London and connecting communities for over 900 years. Its sole trustee is the City of London Corporation – the governing body for the Square Mile. 

www.citybridgefoundation.org.uk





2 December 2024

Our 2024 festive appeal

Our festive appeal this year is focused on raising funds to develop new specialist resources for those struggling with legal and rights-based issues after postpartum psychosis (PP).  

Whilst in recovery from PP, some women face legal, financial or rights-based issues. These issues can cause frustration, distress, injustice and hamper recovery. In our 2023 peer support survey, respondents shared some of the difficulties they've experienced:

  • Nearly half (49%) faced issues around returning to work.
  • Over a third (36%) had difficulties with reinstatement of their full driving licence.
  • 31% had trouble accessing insurance.
  • 28% had problems accessing benefits entitlements.
  • Some reported poor understanding of PP in family or criminal courts.

Your donation could help us develop a series of information leaflets covering the most common issues women and families face; increase awareness to help remove stigma and ensure better understanding; and develop a support and signposting service.

Our APP Peer Support service already changes and saves lives. Those we support tell us there's a real need for this kind of specialist information. It would make such a practical difference to so many women and families.

Please donate now to help us do more.

Hannah and her baby in a Christmas pudding outfit

Hannah struggled to get her full driving licence back for several years after recovering from PP.
She initially surrendered her driving licence, then had temporary licences for the following four years, even after she was fully recovered and discharged from her mental health team. Hannah needed a licence for her job, and because she lives in a rural area. Each time her temporary licence expired, she had to complete extensive paperwork and make numerous calls to the DVLA.
She says:  'In the early days, I didn't have the confidence to challenge it. There was never any issue with my driving and it hadn't been something that medication or my recovery process had impacted. I've driven since I was 17 and really value this as part of my independence and identity. Plus, living in a rural area meant being prevented from driving made me feel even more isolated.'

After more than five years of back and forth with the DVLA, she finally got her full licence back.

I felt angry and discriminated against for having a limited licence due to something that had happened five years ago.  On one of my calls to the DVLA I asked them if they knew what they were doing and if they knew anything about the illness I had experienced - they said they didn't and were awaiting medical sign-off and again told me there was a backlog.  I also asked my GP who said they had no issue with me driving, so the delay was with the DVLA.

My experience shows that the DVLA and other agencies should have a knowledge of PP and what this means.  There are definitely worse drivers on the road than me and at that stage, five years after PP, it seemed pretty ridiculous! 

PP is not like other mental health diagnoses either and the main risk is around having a baby.  I would urge everyone to support our work to educate other statutory bodies about what PP is and what it isn't so this doesn't happen to other people.

Like many women affected by PP, Hannah has also experienced issues getting insurance:

I still have an exclusion on my life insurance for anything related to mental health - at the last renewal of our policy, the company were unable to provide a decent level of cover due to the small number of psychiatrist appointments I had within the last 10 years, which included when I had sought proactive support when having my youngest child and remained well.  It's really unfair.'

Driving licences and insurance are just two of the issues that can cause problems for some women in recovery. Others tell us they've had problems with benefits entitlements, maternal rights, money advice, and returning to work.
Struggles like these can cause additional stress and anxiety, and hinder recovery. For those with little family support, who have English as a second language or who lack the confidence or knowledge of how to challenge it can be even more difficult.

Donate nowOur Big Give match funding campaign closed on 10th December but you can still donate here and help us continue to support women now and in the future.

Thank you.

27 November 2024

APP November Newsletter

Free APP webinar - watch back and share

Thank you to everyone who signed up for our free webinar: Essential knowledge for preventing maternal suicide.

Suicide is the leading cause of maternal death in the 12 months after having a baby in the UK. APP’s second annual Alex Baish Memorial webinar outlined the actions needed to support and protect women who develop postpartum psychosis (PP).

The webinar was delivered in collaboration with The National Centre for Mental Health at Cardiff University (NCMH) and General Practitioners Championing Perinatal Mental Health Care (GPCPC).

We would like to say a huge thank you to our speakers.

3,891 health professionals signed up for the webinar.

A truly inspiring, emotional, educational & thought provoking webinar with @ActionOnPP  - it has been a privilege to attend, thank you to all involved

You can watch the webinar back here. Please share with your networks to let as many people as possible who work with new mothers know.

The Big Give

Big Give Christmas challenge logo

Our Christmas Big Give returns on the 3rd December, with all donations (up to £6,000) made that week via our Big Give campaign page being DOUBLED - so your donation will have double the impact.

Our festive appeal this year is focused on a new service we‘re aiming to develop: resources for those struggling with legal and rights-based issues after PP. Our peer support survey last year showed that nearly half (49%) of those affected by PP had faced issues around returning to work. Over a third (36%) had difficulties with reinstatement of their full driving licence, and the same number had problems at work. 31% had difficulties with accessing insurances, and 28% with benefits entitlements.

Some women shared issues they had faced due to a lack of understanding of PP in our legal system. We want to provide practical information, support and signposting to help women with these issues. You can read more about our appeal here.

Please donate if you can, and remember all donations made between 3rd and 10th December will be doubled, at no additional cost to you.

Thank you so much for your support.

The Big Bake

Get friends, family, or colleagues together for a festive afternoon tea, a mince pie coffee break, a Hanukkah bake off, or a Christmas Cake decorating competition and help raise funds and awareness for APP at the same time!

Find out more here, or get your FREE Big Bake pack (including the APP team's favourite festive recipes!) by emailing fundraising@app-network.org.

We can't wait to hear about what you have planned! Plus, if you hold your event between 3rd - 10th December and donate the proceeds to our Big Give appeal, whatever you make will be doubled!

Christmas cards that make a difference!

Buy your Christmas cards this year from here and APP will receive a donation with every purchase.

There are hundreds of designs to pick from, including some exclusively designed for APP. You can add photos, personalised messages and even games. Choose individual cards, packs of cards or e-cards - and send them directly to the recipient or to yourself.

Thank you.

APP's 2024 Peer Support Survey

A big thank you to everyone who completed our annual peer support survey. The responses showed the importance of APP’s peer support service and the role it plays in recovery. The majority of respondents (68%) had experienced postpartum psychosis (PP) or were at high risk of PP. 27% responded as a partner, family member or friend of someone who had experienced PP.

Overall, since finding APP…

  • 99% felt more supported
  • 95% felt less isolated
  • 96% felt more informed about PP
  • 91% felt less negative about PP
  • 93% felt more hopeful about the future
  • 96% felt that APP had helped, or was helping, them to recover
  • 91% felt more able to talk about their PP with family, friends and health professionals
  • 48% said they might not be alive if they had not found APP's peer support services.

Below are just a few of the many comments shared through the survey:

It is so nice to feel a part of a community, to know others have been through a version of what you have, it validates the whole thing. I feel less alone knowing that I'm not the only one to have had this extremely scary experience.

 

The fact that APP are very welcoming and open about everything PP-related made me realise that there is nothing to be ashamed about having experienced PP. If others are out there talking about it and sharing their story, then so can I.

 

Knowing that others had been through what I experienced and had come out the other end was so inspiring, it gave me hope that I would too.

 

APP has been a great way for me to acknowledge and reflect on what has happened to me and my family with people who truly understand and can relate and are willing to share their stories too. I don’t feel alone!

 

Under no uncertain terms, APP was a pivotal part of my recovery. It provided a safe environment where I felt a sense of belonging during my recovery.

Legacy giving

We’ve recently developed a new information pack for anyone interested in finding out more about leaving a gift to APP in their Will.

Leaving a legacy to APP could help us make an impact and support women and families long into the future, and it’s probably a lot less complicated to do than you might think.

You can find out more and request our free info pack here. Thank you.

Join our next UK café group meeting

There will be a meet up on Zoom on Thursday 28th November, 7.30-9pm for anyone who has experienced psychosis in the perinatal period and lives in the UK.

You can sign up to join the meeting here.

This will be a space to meet with others and share experiences.

If you haven't been to an APP peer support meet up on Zoom before you can read more about what to expect here.

APP peer support volunteer training

On Saturday 9th November, we ran our 23rd peer support training day (pictured above) and are delighted to welcome 8 new peer support volunteers to our team. We have also recently trained 4 new partner peer support volunteers.

Our peer support volunteers have all been affected by postpartum psychosis (PP) themselves. They help us to deliver our peer support service, where we connect people through 1:1 support, our cafe groups and our online community forum.

As our recent peer support survey shows, by connecting with others who have 'been there', we can help people feel more supported, more hopeful and less isolated.

We are extremely grateful to all of our volunteers who give their time; we could not run our peer support service without them.

If you are in the UK, have been affected by postpartum psychosis (experiencing PP yourself, or as a partner, grandparent or other family member) and would like to find out more about volunteering with APP, please do email us: app@app-network.org.

Company Four – exhibition call out

Company Four, a Manchester based theatre and production company, is currently rehearsing ‘Who is your mummy and where did she go?’, a theatre production that focuses on postpartum psychosis. Read how family history inspired their artistic journey here.

An exhibition space will run alongside the performances and Company Four would welcome any submissions from APP’s community - stories, artwork, voice recordings, poetry and more. Whether you have experienced PP, are a partner or family member, or a health professional - please send your submissions to: companyfourmcr@gmail.com by 10th January 2025. We'd love to see your work too so please copy us in: app@app-network.org.

Motivational Mums Club conference

On 4th November, APP was invited to attend the very first Motivational Mums Club conference, which focused on improving mental health outcomes for Black mothers.

APP's Jessie Hunt and Shaheda Akhtar (pictured above far right and middle) spoke about the signs and symptoms of postpartum psychosis, our peer support services and Diverse Communities Project - highlighting plans to work with Motivational Mums Club on future projects supporting Black mums. Our volunteer, Rushina (pictured above, far left), joined the team to raise awareness, sharing her experience.

Thank you to Club founder Chrissy Brown for inviting us and a big thank you to our speakers for sharing your stories and helping to raise awareness.

If you are a Black mum with lived experience of postpartum psychosis and you would like to share your story or meet others, please get in touch by emailing: app@app-network.org.

Writing workshop

Members of the APP network recently enjoyed a writing workshop, facilitated by writer and actress Lauren-Nicole Mayes (Corrie, BBC Writersroom Northern Voices).

Through prompts and free writing, the session focused on ‘finding your own voice’. From random words, we developed our own writing style and unique voices. Who knew ‘baked beans’ could evoke such emotions?!

We look forward to offering further similar sessions next year and are extremely grateful to Lauren-Nicole for running this session for us.

Fabulous Fundraisers

Thank you! A big thank you to a couple of our youngest fundraisers who took on big events for APP in October.

17 year old Emily ran the Cardiff Half and raised nearly £1,000 and 17 year old, Aideen, completed the Belfast Half in memory of her aunt Orlaith, and raised over £1,000. A massive thank you to both of them for taking on these incredible challenges for us!

Research Officer vacancy

The Care Policy and Evaluation Centre (CPEC) at The London School of Economics (LSE) is looking for a part-time Research Officer to work on a new project evaluating the way APP delivers peer support at Mother and Baby Units (MBUs).

The project will start in January 2025 and will be run by the CPEC from the LSE, working with APP.

This is an important study and the postholder will contribute to all research activities including literature reviewing, setting up and participating in meetings and workshops. A large part of the role will be data collection through focus groups and interviews with women with experience of postnatal illness, staff and peer support workers.

You can apply for the post here. For queries about the role, please email cpec@lse.ac.uk.

The closing date is Monday 2nd December.

Books and media

A Mom Like That: A Memoir of Postpartum Psychosis by Aaisha Alvi is a powerful exploration of postpartum psychosis and motherhood - and a call to end the stigma and blame. Early motherhood is supposed to be joyous, but for Aaisha, who is based in the USA, those early days were ruined by terrifying, delusional thoughts about her baby and family.

We need to talk about postpartum psychosis - it's a real experience, but it doesn't define you. - Aaisha Alvi

 

A compelling, powerfully written memoir that will raise awareness of a devastating illness and shine a light on the journey of recovery. - Jess Heron, APP Chief Executive

Aaisha’s book is available now at major online booksellers.

You can listen to Ellie Ware, APP’s National Peer Support Coordinator, in conversation with Aaisha here (length: 26 minutes). They have an honest conversation about postpartum psychosis, Aaisha's book, the importance of raising awareness, and the healing power of peer support.

Please be aware that this discussion includes experiences of postpartum psychosis, as well as descriptions of suicidal and infanticidal thoughts.

Recent media

APP Ambassador Laura Dockrill shared her postpartum psychosis experience in Psychology Today.  

APP fundraiser Mai shared her story with Glasgow Times

National Peer Support Coordinator, Ellie Ware, took part in the Mindful Mums Podcast, highlighting the signs and symptoms of PP, how to get help and APP’s peer support service.

APP’s National Training Coordinator, Sally Wilson, spoke to BBC Sunderland about the need for more beds to treat women with postpartum psychosis. Storyteller Kayleigh also highlighted her own experience and APP’s Mother and Baby Unit for BBC News Online.

Fundraiser and Storyteller Leanne shared her story with Edinburgh Live.

APP storyteller and poet Jenny wrote about her experience of PP for The Independent (payment required to access the full article).

Storytellers Ruth and Alexandra spoke to the New York Times about the power of Mother and Baby Units in the UK (payment required to access the full article).

APP Chief Executive Dr Jess Heron spoke to Mail Online about why we need more awareness and health professional training on PP to reduce rates of  maternal suicide, in response to the tragic death by suicide of Abigail Menoret. Please take care when reading this article.

Take on a challenge in 2025 for APP

Is it too early to be thinking about New Year's Resolutions? We already have nearly 50 people signed up to take part in fundraising challenges in 2025 so maybe not!  We’ve updated the challenge page on our website with dozens of new events – from Santa fancy dress fun runs in December to loads of exciting events all over the country throughout 2025, including London - Paris cycle, Great North Swim, Etape Caledonia, Blenheim Palace Triathlon, London 10k and the Great North Run to name just a few. Get planning and have something to look forward to next year.

Dates for your diary

APP UK-wide virtual café group meet up, Thursday 28th November

International Volunteer Day, Thursday 5th December

APP Lancashire and south Cumbria virtual café group meet up, Monday 9th December

APP Birmingham face to face café group meet up, Friday 13th December

APP Muslim women’s virtual café group meet up, Friday 13th December

APP North East face to face café group meet up in Newcastle, Monday 16th December

APP LGBTQ+ virtual café group meet-up, Tuesday 17th December

APP Manchester face to face café group meet up, Friday 20th December

APP Manchester face to face café group meet up, Friday 24th January 2025

APP North East face to face café group meet up in Newcastle, Monday 17th February 2025

Contact information for all APP café groups is available here.

Conferences and events

Perinatal mental health lunchtime seminar, Thursday 10th December

Online seminar run by Lifeboat Perinatal Mental Health CIC. This 12.30 - 1.30pm session is for anyone supporting pregnant and new parents and focuses on techniques for group facilitation. Tickets are £10. Book here.

Perinatal mental health lunchtime seminar, Tuesday 14th January 2025

Online seminar run by Lifeboat Perinatal Mental Health CIC and Dads Matters Bristol. This 12.30 - 1.30pm session focuses on dads/partners and the impact of pregnancy, birth and parenthood on mental health. Book your free place here.

Monitoring and Improving Experience in Maternity Care, Thursday 30th January 2025
Online conference focusing on measuring, understanding and improving maternity care experience in the NHS.

A 20% discount is available with code hcuk20app. More information and book tickets here.

If you would like to advertise your event here, please get in touch: app@app-network.org.

7 November 2024

Jenni’s story: Having my baby by my side is something I’ll always be grateful for

Being able to wake up every morning with my baby daughter by my side was amazing. As sick as I was, I really held onto that and it definitely helped me in my recovery. Mother and Baby Units (MBUs) are so important for that reason. We were a long way from home, and it was devastating being sectioned, but having Isla with me throughout is something I’ll always be grateful for.

Jenni Semple at family at Disneyland, standing in front of the magical castle

Being a first time mum who was lucky enough to have an uncomplicated, happy pregnancy, I really wasn’t prepared for what followed.

The birth itself was really traumatic, resulting in a forceps delivery. But after that, I was strangely elated. I knew I would probably feel really happy because I’d just given birth to our beautiful baby girl. But, in hindsight, this was a whole different level of happiness. I couldn’t switch off. And I couldn’t sleep either.

I went home from hospital within a couple of days of giving birth and one of the first things I remember is that taking my pain relief was problematic. I couldn’t remember how to do it, and I kept writing down different dates, times and doses, but I still had no idea if I was taking too much or too little and it really scared me. On top of that, I was hit with a fear that they were going to take Isla away from me. My midwife would visit and spend several hours trying to reassure me, but no matter what she said, she couldn’t put my mind at rest.

Then I started worrying about more things and no matter what anyone said, I couldn’t stop obsessing. For example, I was convinced I was feeding Isla incorrectly and went as far as to hire a private lactation consultant. But even when she reassured me that I was doing OK, I just didn’t believe her.

I had a sense that something wasn’t right, and, because I also hadn’t slept, I wondered if I had some kind of baby blues or something. But when my mother in law came to visit and voiced her concerns, I got really angry and told her to leave. Still, I went to see the doctor with my husband genuinely believing they’d be able to give me a tablet, send me home and all would be well.

When I got there, however, I was completely unable to communicate with my GP. I couldn’t understand what she was saying, it all sounded muddled and scary. She immediately diagnosed me with PP and contacted the perinatal mental health team.

We waited in a separate consultation room but the perinatal team didn’t call back so we were sent home. It was a Tuesday, and that night was the worst. That night was when the hallucinations, the voices, started. And it felt like it went on for hours.

By Wednesday morning my husband chased the GP who chased the mental health team and a psychiatrist came to the house with a nurse and another doctor. I was immediately sectioned.

Just before they came, my behaviour became really scary for my husband. I was trying to kill myself. I remember my husband trying to hold me back from going out of the door. And when I look back on this I just feel overwhelmed with guilt that while all of this was happening, I simply wasn’t looking after Isla.

So that night I was taken by ambulance to Bournemouth MBU where I spent three weeks as an inpatient. It was an equally harrowing and scary experience because my illness convinced me that I was in prison and that I was never getting out.

At the same time, as it was early in 2020, the pandemic was just happening. So that all added to my paranoia – particularly around the belief that I wasn’t really in a hospital and it was all a set up.

Looking back though, during my three weeks in the MBU, the staff really were amazing. Not only did it mean I could recover with Isla by my side, but there were lots of activities to take part in – cooking, gardening, etc. And I bonded quite well with the other patients. It was a tough time, however, because the MBU was so far from home. We lived in Oxford at the time and our nearest MBU would have been Winchester but they didn’t have any beds so I ended up in Bournemouth. My husband literally drove 4,000 miles in three weeks in order to visit us!

After three weeks they decided I could go home, but the day I got released was the day we went into full lockdown - which did my paranoia no good! I was still very peculiar for a few weeks - I couldn’t listen to the radio or focus on the telly for a while. And I had to stay on medication.

Everything was kind of OK for a few weeks, and then depression hit. It took a really long time to come out the other end of the depression but I got there eventually.

Now, we’ve moved back to Norfolk to be near my family. I’ve changed jobs too and we’ve just got a puppy – so family life is really good.

I also have really good peer support through APP.

Jocelyn has been amazing – if ever I have a dip, she’s right there. She helped me through the acute phase but it’s so nice to know that there’s somebody else who has been through what I have who is always available to chat. Being able to share what you’ve been through with someone who just gets it is so important. I would encourage anyone going through PP to reach out for peer support.

 

15 October 2024

Natalie’s story: When I joined an APP café group it was so reassuring to know I wasn’t alone

 Nobody in my family had heard of postpartum psychosis before, and even some of the doctors who were first treating me didn’t know what it was. But getting admitted to an MBU and finding the APP peer support community has been an amazing help.

It was 2019 when I had my first baby. Our son was born after a relatively straightforward pregnancy and a really good birth. I’d taken a hypno-birthing course, practiced relaxations and visualisations, and, on the day itself, I enjoyed a very quick labour with no need for pain intervention. I felt so lucky and it’s a nice moment to look back on because, not long after leaving hospital, things went downhill very quickly indeed.

As a first-time mum I was really anxious.

You don’t get handed a manual and every child is different, so I was always worrying about whether or not I was doing things right. I also felt as though I got a lot of mixed messages from the different midwives and health visitors, so I found everything confusing.

I started writing lots of lists and obsessing over things like the number of dirty nappies he should have, and I struggled with breastfeeding too. Add to that a total lack of sleep (I think I must have got around eight hours in total during the first week at home after birth) and not eating well and my anxiety was through the roof.

The problem is, when you’re a first-time parent, you expect big changes, so we didn’t know if all this was normal or not. However, after being at home for a week there was a turning point when things got really bad.

I remember getting a shower and hearing my baby crying. I told my husband but, in reality, we knew that I couldn’t really hear him crying because he was too far away. I think that might have been my first hallucination.

After that, my moods became really up and down.

I had low mood and tears one minute, the next I’d be normal, and the next I’d be really high, hyper and giggly. It became really obvious to my husband that something was wrong, but he had no idea what it could be.

During an evening meal, around a week after the birth of my son, I was holding my baby and could see him turning blue and choking before my eyes. I was hysterical, I truly believed my baby boy was dying in my arms. Of course, he wasn’t turning blue or choking – this was another hallucination.

Soon after the hallucination that my son was dying in my arms, we went to my mother-in-law’s for a night. On the way to her house all I could hear was the baby crying, it was so distressing. Talking to my husband more recently, he told me I was deadly silent during the journey. Once we were at my mother in law’s I actually slept really well. But the next morning things got worse. I was convinced my baby had died – and that the baby I was holding was somebody else’s.

My husband talked me into going to A&E – saying we should get our son checked over. In reality, he wanted to get me seen by a doctor as he knew that I was the one who was unwell.

During that first visit to A&E I was really delusional and paranoid. I was admitted to hospital that night – to a geriatric ward (which was really inappropriate) – but I was so desperate to go home I did everything I could to convince them there was nothing wrong with me, that it was just a case of sleep deprivation. My husband said I was quite convincing at that point and I think that’s why, after being transferred to an MBU the following day, my initial admission was so short. I was there for three and a half weeks. Of course, when I went home, having convinced everyone I was well and stable, things gradually worsened.

My confidence was shot and I was full of anxiety and kept experiencing dips in mood. I struggled to go anywhere alone and became paranoid about bad things happening to my baby, so I found it really difficult to do things like taking him swimming. The intrusive thoughts were just awful.

Around this time I started going to baby groups and meeting up with other mums and family friends. I also had support in the community from the perinatal service and we eventually tapered me off my meds. Unfortunately, it was all too soon and then Covid hit – which was also a big trigger for me.

So, nine months after having my baby, I was admitted to an MBU once again. And, once again, I tried to convince them I was well and after a few short weeks I was actually discharged for a week, but I ended up being re-admitted.

By this point I think I became resigned to the fact that I was ill, and I was no longer able to convince everyone otherwise. I started engaging with the activities and therapies in the MBU – baking, painting my nails, having psychotherapy. I was also finally on the right medication.

When I came out of the MBU after the third admission, I was much more confident. I was happier to do things with my son, happier to socialise. I went back to work which was really difficult, but since then I changed jobs and my new team and management have been so supportive.

I have now been diagnosed with bipolar which would account for the first relapse when my son was nine months old, but I’ve had my daughter since and we had no problems or relapses, so, with the right help, things can be managed.

The experience of PP, although horrible and traumatic, has also given me some positives. I think I feel more confident and able to stand up for myself these days. I know I don’t want to become unwell again so I am much more able to identify when I need to practice some self-care.

Now, things are really good for us. My husband and I have been doing lots of fundraisers for APP which have been great fun to do, and we have also joined the charity’s peer support community. I attend café groups and it’s made such a difference. Meeting people who have had what you have – especially when you’d never previously heard of it – is so powerful. My husband also goes to the partner peer support groups and my mother-in-law is also involved in APP’s peer support. We also take an annual trip to Bournemouth MBU around my son’s birthday which is such a positive thing for us, the staff love seeing us and we look forward to the trip every year.

If anyone reading this is going through PP or in the early stages of recovery my advice would be to listen to the professionals and accept all the help you can. I truly believe I would have recovered a lot sooner if I was able to accept that I was unwell. I’d also say do everything you possibly can to get as much sleep as you can, whether that’s asking the MBU staff to have the baby overnight or asking a family member to help so you can get a cat nap during the day. But perhaps most importantly, I’d like them to know that, although it’s a really tough time, you should never blame yourself. It’s not your fault and there’s nothing you did wrong.

And you can recover – I am proof of that.