Here you will find information about looking after yourself now and in the years to come.

APP bereaved families group and lived experience stories

Families often say that grief is further compounded by feeling alone as they’ve never heard of or met another person who has lost someone in the same way.

APP runs a peer support group for families bereaved by PP. It is made up of volunteers who have each lost someone in their family and includes husbands and partners, mothers, fathers as well as adults who lost their mothers as a result of PP when they were children. All our volunteers say that being able to talk to someone in this way at the time of their bereavement would have been so helpful for them. They also want to ‘give back’ and remember their loved ones by helping others.

Feeling like you are usefully doing something for others helps you feel like you are remembering the person you have lost.

Contact us at app@app-network.org.

Bereaved families often have lots of questions about PP. They want to understand more about the condition and its effects. APP’s national peer support service can put you in touch with APP’s expert academic, clinical and lived experience staff who can help talk through your questions.

If you would like to read about the experiences of some of our bereaved volunteers, you can do so here. If you feel your story might be helpful to other bereaved families, and would like to share it, please get in touch: app@app-network.org.

I felt isolated, completely cut off. After the initial tsunami of messages, other people were then just getting on with their lives. It felt like I was in a running race and everyone else was sprinting off ahead of me, and I was stuck on the start line. Being able to talk to other people who have been through what I have gives me a warm feeling, knowing that I wasn’t alone, that there were other people out there who had complete empathy.

Other organisations offering support and counselling

It can take time to find the right support for you. Everyone is different, and someone who is the right counsellor for one person, may not gel with the next. Psychologists, counsellors and therapists also differ greatly in the amount of training and regulation they have. If you feel you would benefit from support, don’t be put off, keep looking until you find the support you need.

The NHS offers a range of talking therapies and counselling. Contact your GP in the first instance to access these. There can be waiting lists for psychological therapies and counselling. Talk to your GP if you feel you need more support with your mental health than a counsellor can offer.

There are a number of bereavement charities who offer counselling and support. Cruse Bereavement Support offers one-to-one sessions from grief specialists: 0808 808 1677.

Death by suicide may bring an additional level of complexity to grief, amplifying anger at a loved one, endless what ifs as well as concern about blame from others. People who have lost someone to suicide sometimes say people are awkward around them, not knowing what to say. Studies find that people bereaved by suicide have a higher rate of developing mental health problems themselves. There are many wonderful organisations that offer counselling and resources specifically for people bereaved by suicide. Suicide&Co offers 12 free sessions of bereavement counselling - you can self-refer here. You can find links to other organisations in our resources section.

One-off free listening services:

  • The Samaritans is a free service and will listen to anyone at any time of day. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Give Us a Shout offers free support if you prefer to send text messages rather than speak to someone. Text ‘Shout’ to 85258.

Private therapists can be found through the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy. You can search a directory of locations, interests and qualifications.

You might also need to access some support for your child at various points in their development. See the Supporting your Children section for further information.

Looking after your mental health

Talking, particularly amongst men, remains something of a stigma, especially over something as big as loss and bereavement. However, the power of talking things over should never be underestimated; it can be useful to be able to vent, and offload. Even if nothing practical is solved in that time, the release of pressure, the organisation of thoughts, and knowing that someone can empathise or sympathise, can be extremely helpful.

If you are worried about your mental health, don’t hesitate to visit your GP to find out about the support they can offer. If you find you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, talk to your GP immediately.

Mind offers some helpful strategies if you find yourself struggling to cope.

Resources like these from Staying Safe are very helpful.