Finding help with managing finances as you grieve and parent

You may be worried about work and finances as you grieve and parent your baby or children. You may have lost one income, find your own earning capacity is reduced, and your childcare costs increased. Here, we outline some sources of support that might be available to help with this. Organisations like Citizens Advice, Turn2Us and Shelter offer further support and advice.

Legal estate

You can find information about the steps you need to take to manage your partner’s property, finances and possessions from Citizens Advice here. The legal situation will vary depending on whether you were married or not, and whether there was a will or not. Citizens Advice has a range of resources to help you understand your legal and financial position.

Life Insurance

If your partner had life insurance, the insurance company is likely to pay, but there may be delays in payment while the insurers cross-reference the details provided on the application form with doctors’ reports. Note, some insurers have exceptions for deaths by suicide which have occurred within 12 months of the policy being taken out.

Death in Service Benefit

A death in service benefit is a lump sum payment made to an employee's family or beneficiary when they die while still employed. It's usually a multiple of the employee's salary or pension. It is not compulsory for employers to offer this benefit but many do, so it is worth checking.

Council Tax

If you and your partner were living together, you may be entitled to a 25% reduction in your council tax bill.

Housing

Depending on your income/savings, you might be able to claim some or all your rented housing costs via Universal Credit. For information, see:
What is the Universal Credit (UC) housing costs element? - Turn2us.

If you still have a shortfall on your rent, you can make a claim for a discretionary housing payment (DHP). A DHP is a single payment from your local council to help pay your rent, see Applying for a discretionary housing payment - GOV.UK

For further housing advice if you are struggling to pay your rent, contact Shelter’s advice line: Get help from Shelter.

If you have a mortgage, you may be able to get help from your mortgage company. This could be in the form of, for example, a payment ‘holiday’, paying interest only, or extending your mortgage term. For further advice, see this guide from Citizens Advice: Reducing your monthly mortgage payments.

You might be able to access government help if you are on a low income but there is usually a three-month waiting period before any help starts: Support for Mortgage Interest (SMI): What you'll get - GOV.UK.

You can speak to a specialist housing or money adviser to help understand the implications of any decisions you make: Get help from Shelter or Money Helper Money guidance.

Employers

Depending on your work status, you may be able to take paid, or unpaid, time off. Employees are entitled to time off where a dependant dies. The law states that such time off should be ‘reasonable’. There is no obligation for an employer to pay you. Some employers will give you paid leave at their discretion, or there may be terms written into your contract of employment, or your workplace might have a bereavement policy. You will need to check this with your employer and look at your contract.

You might find that you need more time off than your employer will allow. Grief itself is not an illness, but the effects of it can lead to high levels of stress, anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions, and you may be able to take sick leave. You may be entitled to contractual sick pay or statutory sick pay (SSP) if your earnings are, on average, above £123pw. (Lower Earnings Limit 2024/25)

You can read more about sick pay from ACAS here: Sick pay entitlement

If you don’t qualify for SSP you might qualify for Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) and/or Universal Credit (see Benefits section below).

You might also have some holiday leave you can use.

Talk to your manager/employer about how you are managing and what you need, but it’s worth finding out about your rights first. If you are unsure of how your employer might respond, it is important that you consider your employment status, contractual terms and job security first before taking any steps. If you need help, contact ACAS helpline for employment advice.

Welfare Benefits (general)

You might qualify for state welfare benefits. If your situation is not straight forward, the benefits system can be complex to navigate and it may be better to seek advice from organisations like Citizens Advice. Ideally, it is best to speak to a specialist but not all local Citizens Advice offices have access to welfare benefits’ specialists.

Alternatively, you can find information on websites such as Turn2us. This website helps people in financial hardship to gain access to welfare benefits, charitable grants and support services. The EntitledTo benefits calculator may be helpful too.

For more information, see these resources from Citizens Advice:

Other benefits

There are specific benefits which may be helpful to you. There are means-tested and non-means-tested benefits available. All benefits have eligibility criteria, but non-means-tested benefits generally do not take into account your income and capital.

Bereavement Support Payment

When your partner dies, you may be entitled to a Bereavement Support Payment of £9,800 (2025/26). Applying is simple and comes in the form of an initial payment of £3,500, followed by 18 subsequent payments of £350. The initial lump sum could help towards the cost of the funeral. The benefit is usually dependent on your partner’s national insurance contributions. Although you can claim up to 21 months after your partner’s death, in order to access the full amounts, you should claim within 3 months. BSP is not taxable and does not affect other means tested benefits for a year.

Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)*

ESA is a sickness benefit which can be claimed if you do not qualify for contractual or statutory sick pay and you find that you are struggling to return to your usual state of physical or mental fitness. For example, if you had a previous mental or physical health condition which, combined with your feelings of grief, means you are not able to engage in much, or any, paid work.

*This information only deals with contributory or ‘new style’ ESA, which is non-means tested. If you receive income-related ESA, seek advice.

ESA is paid at two rates. The lower rate (assessment rate) is paid for three months while your claim is being assessed and then, after you have been assessed, you may be placed in the support group. People in the support group are paid at a higher rate. If you do not qualify for the support group but are still found to be unfit for work, you will remain on the assessment rate. Employment and Support Allowance (ESA): Eligibility - GOV.UK

If you are unsuccessful in being placed in the support group or you are found to be fit for work, Citizens Advice shares information about challenging the decision: If you think your ESA decision is wrong - mandatory reconsideration.

It may be possible to do some work, or to volunteer, whilst claiming ESA, but check the rules first. Work and claiming benefits - Disability charity Scope UK

ESA is a taxable benefit and may be deducted from means tested benefits. ESA can be partially means tested in that receipt of a personal or occupational pension of over £85pw can affect it. Also Bereavement Support Payments can impact on ESA after one year.

Personal Independence Payment (PIP)

PIP is a longer-term disability benefit for people who are under retirement age. If ‘you expect the difficulties to last for at least 12 months from when they started’ then you may qualify for this benefit. You must also be over the age of 16; ‘have a long-term physical or mental health condition or disability; and have difficulty doing certain everyday tasks or getting around’. See here - GOV.UK.

PIP is not means tested, not taxable and does not have any effect on your other benefits.

Universal Credit (UC)

UC is the main means-tested benefit for people under pension age. It can be applied for in its own right and/or to ‘top up’ non means tested benefits. It can be claimed whether or not you are in work or you are sick/disabled. A benefits calculation can help you work out if you are eligible: Check what benefits you can get - Citizens Advice.

To find out more about Universal Credit, see Universal Credit - Citizens Advice

Help with Council Tax

If you and your partner were living together, you may be entitled to a 25% reduction in your council tax bill.

Council Tax Reduction (sometimes called Council Tax Support)

The level of help varies depending on your local authority’s scheme. Apply for Council Tax Reduction - GOV.UK

Funeral costs

If you are on certain benefits, or are waiting to hear if you qualify, you may be able to get help with the funeral costs. There may be other sources of help available, such as a pre-paid funeral plan or life insurance.

Help paying for a funeral - MoneyHelper

Money Advice and Debt

If you are struggling to manage financially or feel that you are going to start having problems, seek advice as soon as you are able. If you can, ask a friend or family member to help you seek help. There is a wide range of debt solutions available which can be tailored to your circumstances.

The MoneyHelper website says: Help if you're struggling with debt.

It’s important to get free debt advice if you’re worried you’ll miss a priority payment, have already missed one or are facing any emergency issues, including:

  • being contacted by bailiffs
  • receiving a court summons
  • having your gas or electricity cut off
  • having your home, car or goods repossessed.

Always seek free, independent information or advice before committing to any solution.

As well as MoneyHelper, other sources of independent information and advice are:

There are many private companies online which offer so-called ‘easy’ solutions, such as an IVA. The following guide explains why these do not suit the majority of people: What is an IVA and how does it work? · Debt Camel

Friends and family

Parents who have lost their children to PP also say that it's important not to forget, or feel embarrassed, to talk to friends and family. Few will want to see the partners of their loved ones, or their grandchildren, in hardship. There may be people in your network who would be willing to help without obligation or judgement.